Dr. Kit Lively’s Signs That You’re At A Bad Dentist
They set up their examination room with wall to wall clear plastic wrap, like a kill room in an episode of Dexter.
No laughing gas, but there is a meth dealer loitering in the waiting room.
They only take cash payments up front, as they “don’t want to get the money all bloody and stuff”.
He doesn’t wear a shirt during your procedure, as he’s needing to allow his wounds from fight club a chance to breathe.
He refers to himself as “the Tooth Fairy”, as he always removes a few extra teeth, but gives you a quarter for each one.
They have you wear the dental x-ray apron for protection, as well as a condom.
Their “introductory special” involves a free hot wax nipple drip with your first teeth cleaning.
They seem genuinely puzzled whenever you bring up the subject of flossing.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
