Originals
How To Support Queer Folk During Election Season With Very Little Effort
Put a tiny rainbow flag in your pencil cup. And more.
Entries by Emily Knapp
Originals
Healthy Habits to Multi-Task While You Work, by Occupation
Air Traffic Controller: Take a Power Nap While The Planes Fly: Sleep is imperative to functioning during the work day. And let’s be honest, the planes pretty much fly themselves these days, right? In such a high-stress job, you deserve to get some shut eye so that you can power through the rest of your shift before the door of the Boeing plane flies off.
Originals
Product Name Pitches For The New Team USA Women’s Olympic Uniform
Lady Liberty Labia Lance, Beaver Balance Beam, USA FUPA Finder, and more!
Originals
Introducing: GODSHOT
This pandemic has been tough and we think you deserve a fun, shiny name to get behind. I mean, the word ‘vaccine’ is so 1798 and besides, it only protects against ONE virus. How lame is that? Our shot protects you against EVERYTHING. Even food poisoning! Bet you didn’t think that was possible, but it is. Trust us. We deliberately ate spoiled food to see if it would work, and we only vomited once and our ER stay was super short! If that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will!
Originals
What Your Favorite Thanksgiving Dish Says About You
Stuffing: Nobody likes you, but no one wants to admit it because we all feel like you need to be there even though you kind of suck. Turkey: You basic bitch. Jello Mold: You’re a suburban aunt. And more!
Originals
Planet Earth’s Sexual Fantasies
Clean Water Fetish: My oceans are filthy and this is all about making me clean, baby. I’ll beg you to dip your hands inside me and pull out the pounds of plastic blocking sunlight to my deepest depths. Yes, yes! Clean me with your plastic and trash removal machines!