Product Name Pitches For The New Team USA Women’s Olympic Uniform
Nike’s reveal of their new Team USA uniforms were met with some surprise last week, when the female bottoms barely covered the genitals of the athletes.
Product Name Pitches For The New Team USA Women’s Olympic Uniform
Hoo-Ha Hammock
Red, White, And Bush
Crotch Canoe
Victorious Vulva Viewer
Box Blaster
Lady Liberty Labia Lance
Beaver Balance Beam
USA FUPA Finder
Clitoris Concealer
Patriotic Pussy Preview
Cunt Chafer
Furburger Freedom Floss
Tuna Taco Tightrope
The Ol’ Vajazzle Dazzle
Twat Trapeze
Muff Marquee
You’re A Grand Old Clam
The Full Brazilian
Star-Spangled Snatch Sling
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Meg Reid is a satirist and humor writer. She is a contributor at The Onion, McSweeney’s and Reductress. You can also find her work in Points in Case, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, and End of the Bench, among other publications. You can find her rants and ramblings on Twitter, Instagram, and Medium.
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Emily Knapp is a writer and comedian based in Denver. They’re originally from Chicago, but fled west because they really like seeing the sun in February. Their writing has been featured in McSweeney’s, The Belladonna, Slackjaw, Points in Case, and other places on the internet. You can follow their writing at emilyknappwriter.com. They can be found in the mountains.
