Covid popped up on Weekend Update dressed as a syringe and playing Ozempic. Covid and Colin Jost could not get through the bit without breaking as Ozempic talked in an unexplained Southern drawl that people are more willing to put Ozempic in their body no questions asked than the Covid vaccine, “And, hell, that good for ol’ Ozempic.”
T-shirt design can not claim that the Turkey Trot 5K is an Olympic qualifying race. T-shirts can not have designs predicting the winner, odds of a runner winning, and what local bar is holding bets on which runner will win. And more!
Waterstarter? The blinking cursor is now a blinking thumbs-up. A jet Ski. Wait, no…a possessed jet ski. And more!
“Not looking for assassins per se, but we need an HR person with experience running exit interviews on the edge of the roof of our building .”
