Entries by Lauren Schwein


Just Like Camping! Dad’s New Apartment Only Has Plastic Silverware

When Dad’s out of Lean Cuisines he lets us order pizza for dinner. And sometimes when we come over after soccer practice we get pizza for lunch. And also we have cold pizza for breakfast. And one time pizza rolls. I love my Dad so much. And pizza.


Watch Out Taco Bell Value Menu. It’s Pay Day

But I’m not some greedy burrito tycoon. I spread the love around. If I see some choice honey eyeing my bounty I’m gonna hook her up. Because water cups are free and no one checks if you fill them with Mountain Dew Baja Blast. That’s for you baby.


Are you a Marx Brother or Mark’s Brother?

Marx Brother: Your family is known for its vaudeville comedy acts. Mark’s Brother: Your family is known for not taking down their Christmas lights.