Pros and Cons of Becoming a Vampire
Pro: Will have a reason to start a gang and call ourselves “The Lost Girls.”
Con: Will have to keep explaining the connection to the 1987 film “The Lost Boys” featuring Kiefer Sutherland.
Viktoria is a Boston-based writer of humor and children’s books. You can find her work in Weekly Humorist, McSweeney’s, Points in Case, The Belladonna, and Robot Butt, or schedule a private reading of select pages of her 3rd-grade diary.
Pro: Will have a reason to start a gang and call ourselves “The Lost Girls.”
Con: Will have to keep explaining the connection to the 1987 film “The Lost Boys” featuring Kiefer Sutherland.
Just a little poop on my jacket, it’ll wash right off. These things happen. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s totally fine. But why is it so wet? Is it a poop or a pee? Or a combo… Anyway, it’s good luck. I think. Do people say that? Did I hear that somewhere? I could use […]
I can’t wait to try it out this summer. In the meantime, I’ll put it away with all my other REI tents in the makeshift gear storage space in the corner of my 800 sq ft apartment.
Bold Red Alone in Bed with Snacks and “Jane Eyre” on Netflix, the Michael Fassbender One, Berry Naughty Thoughts About Michael Fassbender, Sexy Fishnet Stalkings of Michael Fassbender’s Full Frontal Pics Online, and more!
EVENT: A concert that starts at 10 pm for no good reason PREGAMING: Crashing on the couch for a 20-minute snooze then inserting Dr. Scholl’s insoles into your sensible boots
I will sign up for an advanced crochet class to keep my hands busy during Jason’s softball practice (which is every Tuesday and Thursday). I will go to the gym, but only the one where the local softball team, the Beavers, work out. I will not let my past failures to become Jason’s girlfriend define me. And more!
I’m sorry I invited 10 random people to your private family and friends shindig and told them it was going to be a rager. I’m sorry they showed up.