Awkward Moments for Ethel Merman to Burst Into the Room Singing “Hello Dolly”

Girlfriend: Aw, you’re so sweet baby. There’s no one I’d rather be with.


Boyfriend: Jessica?! Who is this guy and why are you in my bed with him?


Ethel Merman bursts into the room, wearing a pink ball gown.


Ethel Merman: HELLOOOooooOOOO!!



Pastor: We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a great man–


Ethel Merman sits straight up in the coffin. 


Ethel Merman: HELLooooOOOO, RUDY!!!


She looks around, realizing it’s a funeral. 


Ethel Merman: I am so sorry for your loss.


Child: Where did Uncle Jack go?


Officiant: Does anyone object to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace.


Man: I’ve loved you since high school, Cheryl. I could never find the courage to say that until right this moment.


Ethel Merman bursts into the room, wearing a wedding dress.


Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, divorce papers!!


Judge: The jury hereby finds the defendant guilty on all charges, including arson, battery, and assault with a deadly weapon–


Ethel Merman bursts into the courtroom, wearing an orange jumpsuit.


Ethel Merman: Well, hellOOOOO, HARRY!


Boyfriend (on Zoom): And then I would kiss you again, and…


Girlfriend (on Zoom): Keep going!


Ethel Merman bursts into the Zoom meeting, wearing clown shoes.


Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, orgasm!!!


Cashier: I’m sorry ma’am, but this card was declined. Do you have another one I can try?


Customer: That’s my only card. I could have sworn it wasn’t overdrawn…


Ethel Merman pops up from behind a stack of Granny Smith Apples, wearing a reusable Whole Foods shopping bag.


Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, Wells Fargo customer service hotline!!!


Mohel: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning circumcision.


Ethel Merman bursts into the room, wearing a yarmulke and prayer shawl.


Ethel Merman: Well, hellOOOOOOO, THERAPY!!!