CARTOON: Optical Overstep

Don't be so touchy, Today's cartoon by Thomas Wykes.


Sorry, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Today's cartoon by Kyle Bravo.

Men's Stealth Magazine

Maintaining Your Core, But Not Your Core Values, Avoiding Commitment One Swipe at a Time, Running Away From Your Latest? (Don't Forget To Count Your Steps!) and more in this issue of Men's Stealth!

CARTOON: Accentuated Affections

Fancy a pint? Today's cartoon by Rachelle Meyer.

CARTOON: Open Options

Non-committal canoe. Today's cartoon by Ken Levine.

CARTOON: Sexual Hunger

Saucy Date Night Surprise! Today's cartoon by Jonathan La Luz.

CARTOON: Medieval Dating

I've been framed! Today's cartoon by Thomas Wykes.

CARTOON: Turtle Topper

The lengths we go for love. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

CARTOON: Space Case

Room to breathe? Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

CARTOON: Dad Discipline

Do those windows while you are up there. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

CARTOON: Doll Dating

Can't invite you in, sorry. Today's cartoon by Eric Kofman.

Introducing: LinkedIn Dating

Once you’ve selected your top candidate, you may make them an offer and negotiate start date*, and benefits package. Additionally if you are just looking for a one night stand, try I’mEasyApply to fast track filling the position. Happy recruiting!

I Saw Mommy Kissing the Easter Bunny (But So Did Santa Claus, Unfortunately)

You shouldn't judge my mother. She was a single mom working a full-time job and raising two small children. Of course, she found it difficult to date men who weren't put off or intimidated by the fact that she had kids. Perhaps it's only natural that she gravitated towards quasi-mythical holiday gift-bearing immortal figures like Santa Claus. He wasn't afraid of children, not in the least. We were the only reason he came around in the first place. That and the cookies.

Historical Tinder

Frida & Diego: 2 miles away. Poly couple looking for a third. Anti-communists swipe left. And more!

I Miss the Good Old Days When Healthy Relationship Standards Meant Men Doing Whatever They Wanted and Women Shutting the Hell Up

I know I’m not the problem. The problem is women and algorithms. Women are too complicated, and so are algorithms. Put the two together, and you have a dating puzzle that not even the smartest man (Joe Montana) can solve. 

CARTOON: Palm Plans

Sunsets again? Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

CARTOON: Sexpectations

Be open about expectations. Today's cartoon by Lance Risseeuw.

CARTOON: Programmer Pickups

Thanks, I just rebooted. Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

NOW CASTING: Romantic Lead For New Wave Reality Dating Show Filmed Primarily In A Sensory Deprivation Chamber

Get ready to Stockholm Syndrome your way into a dubiously legally-binding marriage with the least financially stable, most emotionally volatile, sentient pair of swim trousers you’ve ever met on our new dating show, Sex Fest Island. The twist? There’s no sex and you’re trapped 30 feet underground in a dark, dark chamber devoid of warmth or feeling. You are technically on an island, though. 

Questions That Couples on Love Is Blind Should Ask Next Season for Way More Successful Relationships

How many times do you typically snooze your alarm in the morning? What is the correct pronunciation of GIF? Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Why or why not?  And more!

CARTOON: Blind Date

Well don't bug out. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

If Cyrano de Bergerac Was an Episode of Catfish: The TV Show

NEV: Dearest Catfish - I think I met the love of my life, Christian. I saw him from afar and I just knew he was the one. [Soft indie pop music plays during the voiceover] He started sending me letters and wowza—this boy is a poet! I was even telling my big-nosed cousin Cyrano about how my boyfriend was so intellectual, but then…something weird happened. I don’t know what to think anymore, and I need help! 

Swipe Left Club

Not everybody gets swiped right on dating APPs. Some people get swiped left. Chalk it up to a bad haircut, a sick fetish, or a prison record, but some people just have that certain je ne sais quoi that can only be found in books, though not bestsellers. Excerpted from a new illustrated series by J.C. Duffy.

Six Snowmen Who Will Melt Your Heart and Then Themselves

Top hats and carrots? So 2017. This chill contrarian’s style is quirky and unique: he’s upended the concept of hats by wearing a vintage tea kettle! The yard-sale camera tells you he’s not just a snowman, he’s a snow artist– also he might do an occasional line of powder. This set of snowballs will take you to the hottest new spots in town, where he will soon become nothing but a puddle on their floor. 

New Dating Apps That Hopefully No One Will Ever Need

Fist A Cyst, Raunch Dressing, Insurrection Erection, and more!

CARTOON: Cat Tinder

Nothing looking purrrfect? Today's cartoon by Nathan Cooper.

CARTOON: Doom Boom

Use it or lose it. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Straight Guys: Love 3-in-1 Shampoo, Conditioner & Body Wash? Meet Your New Must-Haves

5-in-1 Scented Spray: Cologne, Air Freshener, Deodorant, Detergent & Breath Spray. When it comes to strong, masculine scents, here is the truth most people won’t tell you: more is more.

Your Guide To Being A Spookily Great HalloWingman: Tips On Helping Your Buddy Get The Most, Best Candy While Trick Or Treating

It's a mistake to appear too eager! Have your friend play it cool and hang back from the crowd a bit. The person handing out treats will be intrigued by the indifference, and your friend may end up with a couple of extra fun-size Twix bars in his bag.

National Park Safety Rules for Gen-Z

Record Tik Tok Dances Only at our Designated Locations: While we are grateful of our youths eagerness to publicize (for free) the beauty of mountains, prairies and oceans - please be advised that doing so near a cliff and/or water feature may result in injury and more importantly, the loss of postable content. Feel free to take photos and videos where you wish, but limit dancing and to our marked TikTok friendly zones located throughout each of our parks.

CARTOON: Inflate Date

Hot, hot air. Today's cartoon by Jeff Hobbs.


Sinder, Harmers Only, Scratch, and more ##DemonicDatingApps on this week's trending joke game!

Hi, I’m the Toilet in the Back of Your Mirror Selfie—You Can See Me, Right?

If you absolutely needed a full-body pic (I get it, I like to show off my full tank every once in a while too), you have a full-length mirror in your room. Your cute room, where there’s sexier background items like your unmade bed, your chaise lounge with all your dirty clothes thrown on it, your dying plants. It screams sex appeal!

Welcome to Your Pandemic Airbnb Rental

We invite you to help yourself to the small collection of books in the living room. While the sampling of Danielle Steele and Bill O’Reilly’s Culture Warrior may cause you to roll your eyes and deduce that we are backwards idiots, please know we have made similar assumptions about you based upon your Vampire Weekend t-shirts and many cases of flavored seltzer.


I've only got pies for you, I lost my pizza can I have yours? Wanna see my dough face? And more #PizzaPickUpLines on this week's #10 trending joke game!

Offline Dating and Other Things to Try After the Pandemic

So many new things to soon explore! Illustrated list by Thomas Wykes.


Don't slip up! Today's cartoon by John Anglin.

CARTOON: Dreamboat

Looking for the full plagukage. Today's cartoon by Madeline Horwath.

When I Gave You My Virginity, I Didn’t Think You’d Put It In the Same Box As Your Childhood Teeth

We had a sweet relationship. You were the nicest first boyfriend a girl could ask for. You brought me coffee before class and taught me how to put air in my tires. In return, I gave you the most precious thing a girl has to offer: the eternal lotus flower of my immaculate virginity. 

CARTOON: Feline Feeling

Purrrfect match? Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea

CARTOON: Holy Hobby

And don't ask where the remote is. Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

CARTOON: Father's Approval

Demanding Dads. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and Dan McConnell.

Signs That the Person You’re Dating Is Secretly an Identical Twin

Before you Google whether or not that last sentence is true, please skim the below exhaustive list of red flags that the person you’ve been coupled with is actually a couple in and of themselves —i.e. a duo of secret twins masquerading as one. You never know until it’s too late!

Danielle Steel Chats With Guys On Hinge

[ALEXANDER liked DANIELLE’S photo, captioned “Sourdough-re-me.”] ALEXANDER: Was it light, fluffy, and soft to the touch? DANIELLE: Talk gluten to me, dammit!

Awkward Moments for Ethel Merman to Burst Into the Room Singing "Hello Dolly"

Boyfriend (on Zoom): And then I would kiss you again, and…Girlfriend (on Zoom): Keep going! (Ethel Merman bursts into the Zoom meeting, wearing clown shoes.) Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, orgasm!!!

CARTOON: Puzzle Love

Puzzling Love. Today's cartoon by Grayson Gibbs.

CARTOON: Passover Easy

This might scramble some things. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Zoom Face

Face froze? Might need a reboot. Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.


Kitchen table feeling smaller and smaller? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

What Your Favorite Eagles Song Says About the Way You End Relationships

Doolin-Dalton: You don’t end relationships because you don’t have relationships.

Other Reality Dating Shows Willfully Misinterpreting Famous Love Quotes

* “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” - Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet * Now streaming on Netflix: A Rose As Sweet! One bachelor will date twenty women named Rose. The twist: he can’t see them or talk to them. He must decide which Rose to marry -- only by smelling them.

CARTOON: Positive Profiles

Those genes look great on you. Today's cartoon by Matt Percival.

Bachelor #244: There’s Trouble at the Mansion

It was incredible getting to know Cassie E’s family, as well as Cassie C’s and Cassidy’s. Although I didn’t get a blessing from any of the fathers, they definitely know how I feel about their daughters. Plus, I learned how to Skee-Ball!

Ask Dr. Kit- Special Valentine's Day Lovesick Edition

I woke up during one of our dates, naked and freezing in a bath-tub full of ice! I'm sure that you know this one... yep, my kidney had been removed and stolen! Even more upsetting, she managed to abscond with another of my organs.... my heart!

CARTOON: Cupid's Prep Table

Love and romance prepper. Today's cartoon by David Ostow.

CARTOON: Noncommittal Candy Hearts

The excitement of meeting someone new...I guess...whatever who cares. Today's cartoon by Cerise Zelenetz.

A Guide to Your Chocolate Sampler Box

Cherry Cordial: Simple and sweet. Like the beginning of a relationship, before it’s clear that your partner is incapable of remembering your Wheaten terrier’s birthday. And more!


Dongs and Bongs, Weed harmony, Stumble, and more #StonerDatingApps on this week's trending joke game!

QUIZ: Real Friend or Bachelor Producer?

When you start crying because your boyfriend just dumped you, your friend: A) Comforts you and gives you an obese carton of Ben and Jerry’s banana flavored ice-cream OR B) Locks you in a room for the next five hours and asks extensive questions about how the breakup happened, how it made you feel and whether you think you’ll ever find love again while holding a big camera and videotaping the whole thing.

Announcing the Ex-Boyfriend Reunion Tour

We've picked the perfect venue for this disastrous occasion: the really cool bar that you introduced all of them to. You know, the one where they now take girls who they're trying to sleep with to "hang out." Not that you still watch their Instagram stories or anything. Please.

Dear Family, I’m Marrying The Green Lady M&M

Afterward, shuttle buses will take guests to the reception to be held at the estate of Bartholomew Richard Fitzgerald-Smythe aka Mr. Peanut. Dinner will be catered by Chef Boyardee himself and desserts provided by the Keebler Elves. (And yes, Ms.Green can eat chocolate. It is not cannibalism! We’re made of meat and eat pork. Same thing!!)

Love & Dating Advice Based On The Number Of Letters In Your First Name

Four Letters: You actually met the love of your life yesterday at 6:43 pm. Or you would have if you didn’t insist on getting pho again for like the ninth day in a row. Instead, that person you gave your number to will be ruining your life for the next eleven years.

Casting Call for the Supporting Role of Boyfriend - Apply via Submittable

To apply, carefully read and complete all sections (A-F) below. Submissions should be free of spelling and grammar errors. Submissions should also be free of your unsolicited commentary on the “super uptight” requirements for landing this role. 

Bachelor In Paradise Lost

I'm your host, Lucifer, and this is Bachelor In Paradise Lost!  Forget all of the pretenders to our throne, we're the real Temptation Island!

The Adventures of Agent Vagina and the Secret Cervix

The Name is VAGINA. Agent Vagina. Otherwise known as ‘Secret Agent Double-O-Face’. Often called ‘Angry V’, Agent Vagina is a Warrior with a failed Mission. The Objective: enslave the Enemy, a super good looking and brainwashable Penis Custodian, to service her with his weapon

Depressing Listicles

'12 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date… APPARENTLY!' '1 Mom And 1 Dad Who DO NOT APPROVE Of My Recreational Adult Kickball League!' And more.

CARTOON: Proposal

Popped the Questionable Question. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

CARTOON: Abracadabra!

Amazingly made her attraction disappear! Today's cartoon by Lars Kenseth.

Love Me, Tinder! Worst Dating Profiles

Larry, 38, Nap enthusiast: My friends call me Lunchmeat Larry (except for my best friend, my mom, who prefers to call me Lunchmeat Lawrence), due to the fact that I smell uncannily similar to processed lunch meats,

Gun Control Is Important But I Look Hot Wielding an M16

There’s no question our country needs stricter gun legislation to stop senseless violence. But yes, my Tinder picture will remain this cute selfie of me shooting an M16 because it gives me the sex appeal of Blake Lively.


Very on point! Today's cartoon by Eugenia Viti.

New Dating Rules For The Apocalypse

Have sex on the first date, actually, have sex the first ten minutes of the first date. You are going to die very soon.

CARTOON: Fight Club

The true sounds of silence. Today's cartoon by Rich Sparks.

Talkward w/ guest Courtney Kocak

Today on Talkward is comedy writer and super star sex and dating podcast host Courtney Kocak! Courtney hosts the 'Reality Bytes' podcast- tune in every week for real talk about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age. We discuss having your gentiles molded in custom sex toys, her new experiences in standup comedy and being a writer for Amazon's Danger & Eggs!

The Metaphysics of the Second Date: A Syllabus

The Metaphysics of the Second Date: A Syllabus Professor: Lone…

I’ll Never Forget When I First Saw You (on Tinder While I Was Pooping)

Some say romance is dead. I myself had all but given up on love. Then I saw you. I’ll never forget it: I was sitting on the toilet as my bowels evacuated, mindlessly swiping away on Tinder, when you appeared on the screen.

Is Your Dating App Match, A Bit Too Much Of A Match? Welcome to Incestry FAQ

Is this new person you find so relatable someone that you're actually related to? Let's find out!

Life After Simon & Garfunkel: Date Night

Oh, hello there. I’m actor and singing legend Art Garfunkel,…

CARTOON: Why We Do Anything

The one true motivator.

PlentyOfPrisoners and 11 Other Sites For People Who Confuse Crazy In Love w/Being In Love w/Someone Crazy

eHarmMe eBodilyHarmony ChristianMangle PlentyOfPrisoners AdultFiendFinder Cra-Cra…

Most Romantic Valentine’s Day Lies

  “I’ll love you forever.” In cosmic terms, a human…

MILF's 2.0: Men I’d Like to F*ck! (Better Read on in Case It’s You, Guy-at-the-Office)

Guys, lets face the cold hard truth: nobody gives a shit about…

Letter From the R-Train

My dearest Petula,   Please forgive me if my hand is slow…

The War on Penis Terror: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 5)

~ DEAR VAGINA SOLDIER ~ Eager to earn your dignity as an honored…

How to Get Your Amazon Echo to, You Know, Do It with You

The Amazon Echo is a tremendous technological feat. This one…

First-Date Customer Satisfaction Survey

Congratulations! You’ve been selected to participate in a…

Brexit Up Is Hard To Do

The Five Stages of Grief Following a Bad Break-Up / Planned Withdrawal 1)…

Exorcising the Penis Demons: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 4)

“Blessed are the Vaginas, for they…

How to be a Dick Without Having One: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 3)


Censored Sexy Pics: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 2)

Once upon a time, right about now, there is a legendary hero…

Wine Reviews By A Sommelier In The Midst Of A Heinous Breakup

Palazzo Lucca 2008 Lamprey-Stuffed River Pinot Grigio Frutti…

The Adventures of Angry Vagina and Her Dating App

Let me tell you a tale of a close friend of mine named Angry…

What ABC Isn't Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld. The…

Useless Tinder Rip-Offs

Just in time for the horrible, lonely holidays! Here Come The…