Beyoncé’s Imagined Presidential Platforms

Political Beliefs

To the left, to the left.

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Thoughts on Current Administration

Boy, bye.

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Economy

The best revenge is your paper.

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Plastic Product Ban

I woke up like this: ***strawless.

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Gun Control

More effective bills, bills, bills.

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Equal Pay

I dream it. I work hard. I grind ’til I’m paid the same amount as men.

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Planned Parenthood Funding

I don’t think you’re ready for this belly.

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Campaign Finance Reform

Of course sometimes shit goes down when there’s a billion (corporate) dollars on the elevator.

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Cyber Bullying

I’m not gonna diss you on the internet––’cause my mama taught me better than that.

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Border Wall

Driver, roll down the partition please.

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Representation  

Who run the world? Too many old white guys.

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Wall Street Regulations

Trade responsibly or: Dow down, bitches.

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Healthcare

I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker. And that beat deserves universal healthcare.

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LQBTQ

“Who you make love to––and take that ass to Red Lobster––is your human right.”

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Vaccinations

What’s worse: Looking infected or crazy? Infected or crazy?

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Education

OK, ladies, now let’s get information.

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Terrorism

Twirl on them haters.

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Mental Health

Watch it while he check up on it.

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Climate Change

World stop. [Pass the Green New Deal.] Carry on.

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Raising the Minimum Wage

Partner, let me, let me upgrade u.

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Student Loans

I came to SLAYYY––interest rates.

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Marijuana Legalization

I got legal weed in my bag swag.

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Public Transportation

I ain’t thinkin’ ‘bout you. Sorry. (I ain’t sorry.)

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Electoral College

You know you that bitch when you cause all that conversation.

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Universal Preschool

Better call Becky with the good childcare.

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Free Birth Control

Put a Nuva Ring on it.