Celebrity Gossip From Divergent Universal Time Slip (Sector HpX, replay mode)

Sources close to The Ancient One are assuring fans that the stoning of the season 42 Bachelorette cast will be televised via pay per view, with premium followers allowed the opportunity to bid for particularly sharp rocks to be thrown at the cast.


The Institute For Telepathic Terror has issued a statement saying in part that “a cadre of Gen Q7 celebrities have joined forces in an effort to mentally control a swarm of particularly aggressive bees”, and institute officials are demanding the release of their shaman / Hulugram content manager from the Oregon Psi-Ranch.  Stay tuned to your local orvchvusz for the latest updates.


Happy Meals from McDahmer’s Cannonball Run 9 promotion are said to be accidentally sending children back in time for up to half an hour.  Typically with the chicken norgette meal, but the Ancient One advises caution overall, while admitting that the teriyaki newt dipping sauce is indeed difficult to resist.


Millions of wrestling fans familiar with the rallying cry of “Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?” can finally answer that yes, we can smell the smoky sumptuous tang of your meth lab exploding last week.  “Who could have guessed that‘The Rock’ referred to a rock of meth?’ asked a nearby toothless guy who appeared to be addressing a wall.


Please take a moment this month to mourn the anniversary of the passing of popcorn magnate and revolutionary of the people Orville Redenbacher, who ultimately died in his efforts to protect the belief that anal bleaching was racist. The Ancient One recommends taking a half day.