Deluxe Features Of Local Haunted Houses In Your Area!
Moorecrest Manor, 1142 Autumn Harvest Lane
Walls bleed extremely rare blood type AB negative, so ideal for charity blood drive location.
Portal to Hell greatly reduces heating bills during the winter.
Ghost of little girl in the attic can be listed as a dependent on tax forms.
The Old McUrthy Place, 1748 Silent Murmur Estates
Possessed ventriloquist puppet a great co-host for your podcast.
TVs refuse to play religious programming, greatly discouraging Republican family members from visiting.
Blood from kitchen / bathroom faucets can be bagged and sold to local goth teens.
The Mansion On Dorchester Road, 13666 Brittle Birch Cove
Screams from the basement at 3 AM great as a reminder to get up and do your Peloton.
Being groped by malevolent spirit an excellent way to prepare for online dating following your messy divorce.
Regular visits from your local exorcist can save you $$$ re Uber / Grub Hub, as he passes plenty of good places to eat on the way to your new house.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
