Historical Figures Who Deserve to Be on Mt. Rushmore More Than Donald Trump

White House aides reached out to South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem last year about the process of adding additional presidents to Mount Rushmore, the New York Times reported. – CNN


William Henry Harrison: America’s ninth and most inconsequential president, who died 31 days into his term

Billy Carter: noted presidential sibling and failed mayoral candidate

Marc Mitchell and David Wartinger: winners of the 2018 Ig Nobel Prize in Medicine for their research on using roller coasters to help people pass kidney stones faster

Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow: bovine alleged to have kicked over a lantern, thus starting the Great Chicago Fire of 1871

Mars Climate Orbiter: experiment that crashed because of a discrepancy in units between Lockheed Martin and NASA

Joey Barnes: a kid in my third grade class who ate sheets of looseleaf paper for fun

My brief, feeble attempt at a quarantine mustache

Any puppy ever

Whoever you see outside your window right now

You, because even though I don’t know you at all I’m still confident that you deserve it more than Donald fucking Trump