Newest Additions To The Cultural Lexicon

The Accidental Bidet   

When the commode accidentally flushes while you’re still seated, coating your private area with soiled toilet water.


When you upgrade from an iPhone to an iPad for the sole reason that the screen is much larger and you don’t like to wear your glasses while perusing Pornhub.

BuriToe Tag

The second half of the gas-station breakfast burrito, which is suddenly not as good as the first half, but which you finish eating anyway.

Scrotal Recall

When a male over the age of 40 accidentally sits on his own testicles.

Crazy Like A Fox News Story

Unlike the saying “crazy like a fox”, which actually means clever or smart rather than actually crazy, “crazy like a Fox News story” is defined as genuinely crazy / mentally disturbed.

SelFee Fi Fo Fum

After taking a checking a selfie, the moment where you realize how gigantic you appear in photographs.

BacheLord Of The Rings

This is when your wife / girlfriend expects you to watch The Bachelor with her, and each episode feel excruciatingly as long as the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence