Newest Additions To The Cultural Lexicon

The Accidental Bidet   

When the commode accidentally flushes while you’re still seated, coating your private area with soiled toilet water.


When you upgrade from an iPhone to an iPad for the sole reason that the screen is much larger and you don’t like to wear your glasses while perusing Pornhub.

BuriToe Tag

The second half of the gas-station breakfast burrito, which is suddenly not as good as the first half, but which you finish eating anyway.

Scrotal Recall

When a male over the age of 40 accidentally sits on his own testicles.

Crazy Like A Fox News Story

Unlike the saying “crazy like a fox”, which actually means clever or smart rather than actually crazy, “crazy like a Fox News story” is defined as genuinely crazy / mentally disturbed.

SelFee Fi Fo Fum

After taking a checking a selfie, the moment where you realize how gigantic you appear in photographs.

BacheLord Of The Rings

This is when your wife / girlfriend expects you to watch The Bachelor with her, and each episode feel excruciatingly as long as the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.