Originals
OnlyFans Profiles That You May Have Missed…
ToeJamboree
Slight-of-foot magician Hotfoot uses one foot to clip the toenails of the other, changes the diaper of an adult baby fetishist using only his feet, and even plays Patty Cake with a seemingly confused Bernadette Peters . For an extra fee he will use the aforementioned toenails to spell a touching message on his kitchen table for you or a loved one with only his feet.
RecapAndFap
Are you a straight guy who enjoys watching daytime soaps like General Hospital and Days Of Our Lives, but are embarrassed by the constant ribbing you get from your sports loving pals? RecapAndFap may be the solution that you’re looking for! Each daily video features completely naked ladies reading the plot outlines and major details of every daily soap opera! Note, asking Natalie to squeeze her own boob while explaining how Nikki was rescued from the collapsed mine by her long thought dead son Evan may incur extra fees.
ArreolaCola
Under house arrest with plenty of time on his hands, as well as a trunk full of bizarre sexual apparatus, Sidney has connected a soda making machine to a female rubber torso sex toy. Which he proceeds to nurse from off and on throughout his otherwise unspectacular days. Feel free to peek in if, much like Sidney, you’ve got nothing better to do.
ZodiACK!!
Hidden in the shadowy recesses of the dark web, identity hidden behind facial / vocal scramblers, an OnlyFans member claiming to be the Zodiac Killer reads from his collection of favorite Cathy comic strip episodes.
Tweeking & Tweaking
OnlyFans prank show, wherein tweeking drug users walk up to random strangers and tweak their nipples.
ConnectThor
Broadcasting from the same bedroom he’s had since the fifth grade, middle aged cosplay enthusiast Jacob dresses like Thor and challenges viewers to a game of Connect Four. Games typically devolve into fans placing bets as to how many Connect Four pieces Jacob can stuff into his own bottom.
8Ballin’
You know those women who work in adult dance clubs who can shoot ping pong balls long distances via their vaginas? Yes, very impressive, but Lady Eve Summers has got them all beat by a mile! She has the exact same talent, but can use it to instead propel mystical fortune telling Magic 8 Ball toys across the room toward her intended target! And quite a few of the magical answers are pretty spot on as well!
The Politics Of Sex
Married couple Darla and Keith, chained to one another via their genital piercings, discuss news of the day that should interest an audience with a particularly sexual lifestyle. Topics such as “Is it racist to bleach your butthole?” and “When will tea-bagging finally get it’s chance as an Olympic sport?” keep the couple engaged and sometimes in a bit of a disagreement. Wait on the edge of your seat for the moment when one decides to storm out of the room! Ouch!
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence