originals

Some Pre-Existing Conditions The GOP Will Accept

Slimy skin


Tightass


Sunburn from an “All Lives Matter” protest


Blindness/deafness from head-in-sand




Lizard breath


Weakspine


Empathy deficiency


Myopia


Secret homosexuality projected as homophobia


Tennis elbow


Golf knee


Lacrosse butt


Ears still ringing from hearing hip-hop two weeks ago


Being a wussy (Celiac disease)


Having a son who only got accepted to Cornell


Acute Stress Disorder from multiple sexual assault lawsuits


Kidney stones