Punchlines to Knock-knock Jokes Rejected by Highlights, the Magazine for Children, Which Has Since Banned Me from Future Submissions

1. Orange you glad I didn’t say gonorrhea?

---

2. Lettuce in,
we’re
being racially profiled and historically this
will not end well for us!

---

3. Anita borrow $100 to pay for
meth!
Because I’m addicted to meth!

---

4. Knots-y’s
appear to have peripheral
influence in the current administration!

---

5. Leaf me alone or I will file a restraining order,
Gary!
We only went out that
one time!
Stop crying!

---

6. Nacho
child, after all! The blood test proves the baby
is your brother’s!

---

7. Figs your relationship with your wife! Her
excessive drinking leads me to believe she is
incredibly unhappy!

---

8. Amos-quito bit me and I’ve contracted the Zika virus
for which there is currently no vaccine!

---

9. Arbor-tion is considered a sin to Evangelical trees, but is a viable option for females that don’t want to take on the responsibility of a sapling!

---

10. Tank you for the $100 earlier! I used it to buy more meth! Because I’m addicted to meth!

---