Quiz: Are You a Worker Under Late Stage Capitalism or a Monkey Trying to Type Shakespeare as Part of the Infinite Monkey Theorem?
A. Technically, yes. But my boss regularly emails me at night and on the weekends.
B. mnvbor die48vns 2lv ed]bmnei ne cnd wj ns xui ns
Have your wages kept up with the cost of living?
A. No. I haven’t received a raise in years! And my company doesn’t offer cost of living increases to keep apace with inflation, either.
B. emnc fiv hj jdp38v kig id xivjf cxji xv romeo
Do you receive paid sick leave and/or the following benefits: healthcare, vision care, dental insurance, parental leave, subsidized child care?
A. Alright, now I feel like you’re rubbing it in.
B. fdjk kgjhgfdsgfhgfjxhcgkjvhh ro meo jul iet
How much do you make relative to your boss? What about the CEO? The company shareholders?
A. Just you asking that question makes me want to bash my skull against this keyboard.
B. but soft what light through yonder window breaks it is the east and dk7nakafic is the sun
A. kdfiuosbnwer bgsk eugxcfmr fdmxbc goirgep
B. kd vc gfiovn sdaiovxczm sdabf dfkgla kcnfsdivjkd
If you answered mostly As: you’re a worker trying to make ends meet in late stage capitalism, which prioritizes profits over people. Don’t stop working!!! Your work is important and leading somewhere.
If you answered mostly Bs: you’re a monkey trying to type the works of Shakespeare as part of the Infinite Monkey Theorem. Don’t stop typing!!! Your work is important and leading somewhere.
Emily Kling is a writer based in New Haven, CT, where she is currently pursuing her MBA degree from the Yale School of Management. Her work has appeared in The Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy, and The Belladonna. While Emily is often late, she is rarely fashionable. Find her on Twitter @EmilyKling2 or at www.emilyannekling.com.
