READ THE EMPEROR PALPATINE INDICTMENT

If the recent indictments of New York mayor Eric Adams have you feeling glum because of its total lack of meat, remember, things in another universe could be even worse; for example, this…

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READ THE EMPEROR PALPATINE INDICTMENT

Long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away… SHEEV PALPATINE, the defendant, became a Galactic Senator. Thereafter, for nearly a decade, PALPATINE sought and accepted improper valuable benefits, such as luxury intergalactic travel, including from wealthy Trade Federation businesspeople. By the year 19 BBY, PALPATINE – who had by then made known his plans to overthrow the Galactic Senate and instill an Empire – not only accepted, but sought illegal benefits from Trade Federation officials. As PALPATINE’s prominence and power grew, his Trade Federation benefactors sought to cash in on their corrupt relationships with him, particularly when, in 19 BBY, it became clear that PALPATINE would become Emperor.

Please note: the following indictment does not include PALPATINE’s successful efforts to overthrow the Galactic Republic, orchestrate the murder of thousands of Jedi during Order 66, inspire the murder of dozens of children at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant in 19 BBY, create an unsanctioned moon-sized space station with the power to destroy full planets, personally murder four Jedi Masters, attempt to murder the head of the Jedi Council, inspire the murder the entirety of the Trade Federation, and exact a mass extinction of the people of Alderaan.

This indictment is about something far more important: financial impropriety.

Please see below for a full list of crimes.

 

 

 

 

 

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