Rejected Candy Slogans

Toblerone: Chocolate. For neutral people.

 

3 Musketeers: Do you like big hats?

 

Smarties: Candy for dummies.

 

Airheads: Candy for smarties.

 

Mr. Goodbar: The alternative is worse.

 

Whatchamacallit: A shenanigan wrapped in a kerfuffle.

 

Snickers: Do you love the smell of nougat in the morning?

 

Eat-More: Just peel and stick.

 

Nestle Crunch: Like a squish with a backbone.

 

Pop Rocks: All of the sizzle, none of the steak.

 

Cadbury Flake: You are what you eat.

 

Hershey’s Kisses: Ready in 5 minutes.

 

Yorkie: Woof!

 

Aero: Chocolate-covered nothing.

 

Good & Plenty:Maybe &Probably.

 

Fun Dip: Loosen your tie.

 

Mackintosh’s Toffee: We were trying to make fudge and this happened.

 

Laffy Taffy: How tight are your fillings?

 

Baby Ruth: Baby Sporty (Ginger, Scary, Posh).

 

Mr. Big: Warts and all.

 

Hubba Bubba: Yabba-Dabba-Bubbles

 

Clark Bar: Breakfast of bachelors.

 

Caramello: If you cut it, it’ll ooze.

 

Yoghurt Chips: It will if you hit it hard enough.

 

Double Bubble: When one isn’t enough.

 

Skittles: Stays crunchy in gravy.

 

Fruit Roll-ups: Slide into most ATMs.

 

Starburst: Red 40 never tasted so good.

 

Reese’s Pieces: Peanut butter shrapnel.

 

Butterfinger: Cry ‘Butter!’ and let slip the fingers of war.

 

Gummy Worms: For gummy people.

 

Gummy Bears: Oven safe.

 

M&M’s: Scrabble expansion pack.

 

Tootsie Pop: Lasts longer than most sex.

 

Jelly Babies: Now 42% less unsightly.

 

Swedish Fish: No assembly required.

 

Jawbreakers: The nuclear option for food fights.

 

Peeps: Ant bait.

 

Werther’s Originals: 10% better than Werther’s Knock-Offs.

 

Kit Kat: Conceivable!

 

Oh Henry: Enjoy it. From both ends.

 

Milkybar: The other white chocolate.

 

Twix: The monogamous treat.

 

Thrills Gum: Try it again. This time you might like it.

 

Cadbury Creme Egg: Celebrate the Resurrection.

 

Pez: It’s not sperm.

 

Milk Duds: Form a tight adhesive bond in 3 seconds.

 

Nerds: If we called them merdes, the French wouldn’t eat them.

 

Tootsie Roll: Try it with butter.

 

Candy Corn:Looks like earwax. Tastes like sunshine.

 

Maltesers: Because Darwin was right.