CARTOON: Stale Candy

Don't say a peep about it. Today's cartoon by Amanda Chung & Vin Coca.

CARTOON: Updated Valentine's Day Candy Hearts

The more things change...Today's cartoon by Jason Chatfield and John Ficarra.

Vegetable-Inspired Halloween Candy No One Wants 

Jolly Radishes, Sour Patch Kales, York Bell Peppermint Patties, M&Ms (Mushrooms & Mushrooms) and more!

CARTOON: Maturing Tastes

And a distaste for many other things. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.


Reese’s C-Cups, Mike and Ike and Suzy, The Poly Rancher, and more #RandyCandy on this week's trending joke game!

Tucker Carlson Rates Other Famous Mascots Based On Hotness

The Starbucks Mermaid: My favorite kind of woman: silent and impossible to get pregnant because her lower half is a fish. She always keeps me coming back for more by running hot and cold. If I ever met her I’d tell her that my coffee isn’t the ONLY thing about me that’s grande. Rating: 8/10

If the Liberals Have Their Way, There Will Be No Bangable Chocolate at All

I mean, have you ever tried to get past first base with a Hershey’s Kiss? It’s beyond frustrating. But you try, and try again, and then you go home still horny, with all these little incriminating bits of aluminum foil that your wife asks suspicious questions about.


Russell Stoner, Weedish Fish, Milk Buds, and more #CannabisACandy on this week's trending joke game!

Your Guide To Being A Spookily Great HalloWingman: Tips On Helping Your Buddy Get The Most, Best Candy While Trick Or Treating

It's a mistake to appear too eager! Have your friend play it cool and hang back from the crowd a bit. The person handing out treats will be intrigued by the indifference, and your friend may end up with a couple of extra fun-size Twix bars in his bag.

Little-Known Backstories of Misunderstood Halloween Candies

A great treat for kids who are too young to smoke, but still want to look cool. The candy cigarette paved the way for the invention of candy chewing tobacco, and candy nicotine patches. These are hard to find nowadays -  tobacco companies want kids to vape, anyway!


Demonheads, Tootsie Trolls, Mummy Bears, and more #HorrorCandy on this week's trending joke game! We hit #7 in the US trends list! (That's really good!)


Nippies, 3 Frosketeers, Mike & Ice, and more #ColdCandy on this week's trending joke game!

Pandemic Or Treat: Making The Most Of Your Halloween During COVID

As far as sexy costumes go this year, you simply need to honestly answer one question: Can a hazmat suit successfully have cleavage? If so, you're back in business.

I, Willy Wonka, Am Finally Glad to Be Rid of Financial Burden That Is Running a Chocolate Factory

Suckers! That unsuspecting dummy had no idea what he was getting himself or his family into. That place was a money pit and I’m glad to be free of the financial burden. Good riddance!

Rejected Candy Slogans

Whatchamacallit: A shenanigan wrapped in a kerfuffle. Snickers: Do you love the smell of nougat in the morning? Aero: Chocolate-covered nothing. And more!


Bike & Ikes, Smelly Ranchers, B.O. Henry, and more #SweatySweets on this week's trending joke game!


Reese's Body Pieces, BloodGushers, Rosemary's Baby Ruth and more #CreepyCandies in this week's joke game!

CARTOON: Marshmallow Diet

There's no escape. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Failed Halloween Treats

Fresh water taffy, Caramel-Coated Pine Cones, Topless Trading Cards Featuring Photos Of Your Mom In Her 20’s and more.