Rockstars’ Flirtations *

Been so long since a strange woman has slept in my bed.

–Bob Dylan

[Drunk. Slurring words.] Baby, you need cooling. I’m not fooling. Going to send you back to schooling… Way down inside. Honey, you need it. Gonna give you every inch of my love. A whole lotta love. [All 4 inches.]

–Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)

You want to step into my world? It’s a socio-psychotic state of bliss.

–Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

You are the sun, I am the moon. You are the words, I am the tune. Play me.

–Neil Diamond

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest. Like the mountains in springtime. Like a walk in the rain. Come: let me love you.

–John Denver

If you start me up, I’ll never stop.

–Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones)

I eat more chicken than any man ever seen. Yeah. Yeah.

–Jim Morrison (The Doors)

Are you human. Or are you dancer?

–Brandon Flowers (The Killers)

—I would do anything for love. But I won’t do that.

—Do what?

—Stick around, and maybe you’ll find out.

–Meat Loaf

Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say I really don’t think you’re strong enough.


One pill makes you larger.

–Grace Slick (Jefferson Airplane)

Oh, my lifestyle determines my death style. (Birth is pain.) A rising tide that pushes to the other side. (Life is pain.) My lifestyle determines my death style. (Death is pain.) A rising tide that pushes to the other side. (It’s all the same.)

–James Hetfield (Metallica)

If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute, would you think less of me?

–Lou Reed (The Velvet Underground)

I feel drunk, but I’m sober.

–Alanis Morissette

I know I’ve got a screw loose. Just meet me in the bedroom.

–Courtney Love

Well, I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body.

–George Michael

So, err, are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced? Well, I have. Let me prove it to you.

–Jimi Hendrix

Some people call me the space cowboy. Yeah. Some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice.

–Steve Miller (Steve Miller Band)

[Very drunk] Abracadabra! I wannna reach out and grab ya.

–Steve Miller

I feel so good if I just say the word ‘Sus-Sussudio.’ Just say the word, oh, ‘Sus-Sussudio.’

–Phil Collins (Genesis)

I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen. Oh, can’t you see what I mean? Ah, you might as well jump.

–David Lee Roth (Van Halen)

And I’m back with the beaver hats and Ben Davis slacks. Thirty pack of Stroh’s. No Rogaine in the propane flows.

–Kid Rock

I wanna wrap you in rubber as pink as the sheets that we lay on.

–Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

I can be your hero, baby. I can kiss away the pain.

–Enrique Iglesias

[Extremely drunk] Yeah, I’m a back door man. Whoa, baby, a back door man. The men don’t know. But the little girls understand.

–Jim Morrison

[Blackout drunk] In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby. Don’t you know that I’m loving you?

–Doug Ingle (Iron Butterfly)

I close my eyes… only for a moment… and the moment’s gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes… a curiosity. Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.

–Steve Walsh (Kansas)



Note: Yes, these are their actual lyrics. That’s, umm, kinda the point.