So, What Exactly Do You Have To Do To Get Your Security Clearance Revoked By Trump?

Delete episodes of To Catch A Predator from his DVR (“Lots of fine people on that show.”, Trump assured us)

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Sweep up random Rolo candies that had fallen beneath the Oval Office couch. (“Hey, those were all still okay!”, complained Trump)

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Drive Ivanka’s dirty laundry to the cleaners. (“Don’t do that… I can do that. It’s okay, I usually just do that by myself.” offers a visibly flustered Trump)

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Wear a similar style of shorts as him on the White House’s Casual Friday. (“They said that these were the only pair like this.” pouted Trump)

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Step on the carpet in the Oval Office between 1:00 and 2:45 during the afternoon. (“You can’t step there, that’s lava. That’s lava, so you just died.” chastised Trump)

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Bogart the chicken nugget dipping sauces. (“They only gave me eight barbecue and five ranch.”, Trump explains)

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Spoil the ending of The Sixth Sense. (“Thanks a lot. I never saw that movie!! I was going to eventually, but now you’ve ruined it.” scolded Trump)

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Outbid him on a beloved eBay item. (“Do you know how long I’ve been looking for a genuine Boss Hogg suit, used on the actual show?? Get out of my sight, you disgust me.” growled a visibly shaken Trump)

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