Posts

Donald Trump’s Totally Untrue and Fabricated Random Acts of Kindness

I was at the zoo. There was a baby rhino that wouldn’t drink its milk. None of the zookeepers were having any luck. Suddenly, a man emerged from the crowd that had formed. “Mind if I give it a shot?” It was Donald. He asked if I would hold his jacket as he climbed over the fence. He took that baby rhino, cradled it in his arms, and put the bottle in its mouth. As the rhino suckled, Donald caressed its head, and I could faintly hear him whisper, “It’s going to be okay, sweet one.”

CARTOON: Trump Scream

Fingerprints & shin splints. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Truly Terrible Things About Trump Arraignment

Keeps saying the courtroom artist is totally failing because they aren't using 'good orange' and he looks too 'creamsicle'. It took seven and a half hours to get his hair ready for the mugshot. Won't answer any questions until he's placed on higher seat than the judge. And more!

CARTOON: The End Is Here (For Trump)

Stand back and standy by. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

It is I, Ramp

Honestly dude, you need to take a look in the mirror.  So, you almost fell down a ramp and embarrassed yourself.  Shit happens.  President Ford nearly fell down the steps descending an airplane back in ‘75.  He didn’t blame tweet the flight of stairs.  He laughed it off and continued serving his unremarkable term.   

CARTOON: Statue of ██bert█

Terms and Conditions subject to change. Today's cartoon by Paul lander and Dan McConnell.

Donnie’s Book Report About the Witch Hunt

Hi. My name is Donnie, and what I am going to do is I am going to do a book report. The book report I am going to do is about the Witch Hunt book we read in class during silent reading time.

The Tremendous Space Force Planning Meeting

The next twenty-five minutes consists of President Trump going into great detail about what the Space Force line of toys needs to be. Action figures, shuttles, rockets, even a home base control room. Of course, the showcase of the toys is a super fit Donald Trump action figure in a glittering stars and stripes Mylar jumpsuit. The little guy is surprisingly pulling off those knee-high boots.

The President Trump Coffee Table Book — Get It Today!

The valor. The prestige. The endless parade of tanks and missile…

Mr. Trump Goes to Washington

Meanwhile, in Donald Trump’s White House… The next President…

GOP Primary Forecast

UPDATED FEBRUARY 23 As we head into the final stretch of the…

Presidential Candidates Footwear

After the Ted Cruz campaign drew attention to Marco Rubio’s…

Dear Donald

Donald Trump receives thousands of letters every week asking…

Who Said It: Donald Trump or Bill the Butcher from "Gangs of New York"?

1. “You see this knife? I'm gonna teach you to speak English…