Pride Parade Float Is Set On Fire : We here at [cabal of billionaires/actual power behind the government] are [saddened/overjoyed] to hear about the [tragic/wonderful] events that took place at the recent Pride parade.

Regardless of how you feel about this bill, you have to admit that it does protect a vulnerable group of people. Just like alligators, homophobic people in 2022 are Florida’s largest export to New York through the sewer system. And also like alligators, they only bite if provoked. And unprovoked. And anytime they hear any word that starts with the letters “GA.”