Originals

This Pride Month, Ben & Jerry’s Is Introducing New Flavors To Help You Come Out To Your Aging Parents

Cherry Grove-cia

Ease them in with a flavor that they likely already know and love! We’ve taken our classic Cherry Garcia, a favorite of stoners and dads everywhere, and simply re-packaged it for a more Pride-appropriate feel. You’ll end up spending so much time explaining what and where Cherry Grove is, they’ll barely notice when you casually let it slip that you like women.


Top Gun’s Volleyball Scene Is Anything But Vanilla

It is a known fact in the LGBTQIA+ community that that volleyball scene in Top Gun is super gay. In fact, the whole movie in general could be considered a gay classic, what with the homoerotic tension, the many sweaty shirtless men, and the truly terrible straight sex scene. Now you can educate your parents as to why this 80’s action romp made you realize you like dudes over a delicious scoop of vanilla!




Very Berry Liza Minelli

A refreshing mixed berry sorbet named after a beloved gay icon- perfect for summer and for telling them you too are a friend of Dorothy.


Pose-tachio Cheesecake

Get your parents to agree to watch this tv show about NYC’s iconic ball culture by telling them it’s about the 80’s, a time they looooove to reminisce about. Clear up any confusion they have on your sexuality (and on who Billy Porter is, where have they seen him before, was he in that one thing with that other guy they like) over an episode and a pint.


But I’m a Non-Dairy Eater! Cherry Vanilla Swirl

They’ve never seen this queer cinematic masterpiece from 2000, but you definitely have, and you can explain the VHS copy they found under your bed over a scoop of this non-dairy delight.


All Hail The Queens’ Lavender

Your mom is likely very into the Royal family, or at least is an avid watcher of “The Crown”. Use this royally-named lavender flavor to sit them down and educate them as to the different types of Queens that exist in gay culture. For an extra bonus, chat about how purple is both the color of royalty and how lavender was a symbol of LGBTQ pride back in the day. It works on multiple levels!


Our Flag Means Death By Chocolate

Here’s another flavor your parents probably already enjoy, re-branded to celebrate everyone’s new favorite gay pirate show. Hunker down with them and their HBO subscription over a bowl of chocolate-y goodness while you justify showing them this as educational, but really it’s to indulge in your overwhelming attraction to Taika Waititi.


Honey, I’m Combing Out

If all else fails, just buy them this honeycomb ice cream, put on the Donna Summer classic and call it a day.

 

by Amy Currul

Amy Currul

Amy Currul is a comedy and satire writer living in Brooklyn, New York. Her work has appeared on Robot Butt and Little Old Lady Comedy, which is a miracle because she enjoys watching Grey’s Anatomy much more than she does writing. You can check out her website http://www.amycurrul.com or follow her on Twitter for updates on her daily shenanigans.

by Cassie Soliday

Cassie Soliday

Cassie Soliday is a writer and cartoonist, currently working in the Animation industry. She loves road trips and the ocean, and especially road trips that lead to the ocean. Follow her on twitter and instagram @cassiesoliday