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NEWS BRIEFS: Dad Accidentally Streaks Slumber Party

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

CARTOON: Tethered Traditions

Uncut for life. Today's cartoon by Alex John.

Rejected Netflix Dahmer Series Promotional Materials

If You Can Read This, Jeffrey Dahmer Didn't Eat Your Eyeballs bumper sticker. Dahmer's vegetarian surprise recipe (made totally from a vegetarian). And sadly, more!

An Open Letter To Whoever Is Abandoning Their Used Underwear On The Shower Towel Hook At The Gym

Towel hooks should only be used for towels, not underwear. Think I’m being too vigilant? Consider that you’ve been sweating into your skivvies for long enough that your sweat has overwhelmingly stained the fabric, transforming them into a disgusting Rorshack test. I’m not even sure if, in their current state, we can still refer to them as underwear. No, they’re more like a sweat rag with an elastic waist.

#DisgustingDisneyMovies

The Little Sperm Maid, Seeping Booty, Beauty and the Yeast and more #DisgustingDisneyMovies on this week's trending joke game!

I’m Your Housekeeper and Yes...I Judge You

Note: a $20 surcharge has been added to your fee because I had to hand-wash the dishes due to all the dog hair in your dishwasher. How’d that even happen? I know you only recycle when you have company. You didn’t put a dog in the dishwasher...did you?

Fun Tips To Shaving Your Dad's Back

Needing to earn a bit of extra money on the side? Scoop up the latest batch of your dad's back-hair trimmings and sell to your stepmother for use in her collection of ex-husband voodoo dolls.

#NauseatingNovels

The Da Vinci Choad, Charlotte’s Web Search History, Gone Hurl, and more #NauseatingNovels on this week's trending joke game!

#VileVideoGames

Personal Space Invaders, Fartnite, Chronic the Hedgehog, and more #VileVideoGames on this week's trending joke game!

CARTOON: Bar Fly

Buzz Buzzed. The Adventures of Bar Fly, by Kit Lively and David Degrand.

Truly Terrible Companies Sending Out Coronavirus CEO E-mails

You Snooze, You Luge Narcoleptic Winter Sports Enthusiasts, Baloneedful Things Gift Shoppe & Deli, Totally Nude Scrapbookers Of America, and more!

Hi Co-worker! It’s Me, That Guy That’s Always Brushing His Teeth In The Men’s Room

So, you’re heading over to the urinal are you? Perfect. I’ll be right here. Watching you in the big mirror while I go to town on these cuspids with a perfect counterclockwise motion.

The Real Reasons That Stormy Daniels Is Suing Trump

Trauma incurred by having accidentally glimpsing his scabby,…

PIC QUIP: Stormy Daniels

An Open Letter To Cilantro

Dear Cilantro,    Touché. You’ve done it again.…