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CARTOON: Fall Foes

Should be called stays. Today's cartoon by Steve Daugherty.

CARTOON: Painful Renovations

Torturous homeownership. Today's cartoon by Nick Downes.

CARTOON: Dusty Decor

Leaning in. Today's cartoon by Lynn Hsu.

Monopoly for Millennials: The Updated Rulebook

Preparation: Each player chooses one token to represent themself while traveling around the board. Tokens include: Oat Milk, iPhone with Cracked Screen, Weed Gummy Bear, Podcast Microphone, Ill-Fitting Bridesmaid Dress (must replace after each use), Zoloft Tablet, Laughing Crying Face Emoji, Thimble - Each player starts with $1,500, but some players must give the Banker $100 every 10 minutes, in an effort to pay off their student debt. 

New Listing: Dead Body Will be Removed with All Waived Inspections

Current owners have enjoyed this property while feeding stray cats for 20 years and do not know the age of roof.

CARTOON: Dangerous Snow

Hazardous Conditions. Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.

Bathroom Remodeling Secrets

  There’s no such thing as a dream bathroom, just…

Tips for Closing Up Your Summer Home 

Did the neighbors see anything? Do they know? What is seen can never be unseen, but dead mouths tell no tales. Act accordingly.

CARTOON: Yard Sale

If it's in the yard, it's for sale. Today's cartoon by Tyson Cole.

Right Now Is the Best Time to Buy a Home

Okay, okay, maybe back in 2008 prices did technically go the “opposite of up.” Let me amend the cardinal rule of real estate: Housing prices will always go up, starting right now.

The Stain Of The Union Address: Rebuttal To Trump's Address By The Stain On The Carpet Of The Congressional Floor

Not really sure what I'm comprised of, although I do appreciate your inquisitive nature. Originally I believe that I was just a small dribble from a visual aid presentation used for a debate regarding stem cell research, but now, who knows? A bit of residue from a packet of Arby's Horsey Sauce here, a bit of massage parlor parking lot mud from Mitch McConnell's shoe there, and well, here I am.

Please Review the GOP-Approved Activities for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The following represents all of the GOP-approved activities relating to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In light of the recent dancing video, please take time to review this list.

Democrat House Of Representatives To Do List

Hispanic members of House and Senate no longer forced to wear sombreros. And more.

How to Keep Your House Cool This Summer

It’s almost summer, so you know what that means: Things are…