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A Letter to My Younger Self of a Few Weeks Ago About Our New Year’s Resolutions

I applaud your plan to “Eat healthier – no more triple bacon burgers with loaded fries and extra thick thickshakes at 2 am.” But it’s not my fault you packaged and labeled all the Christmas leftovers for each day until February. I’ve been eating the ham like you were drinking the eggnog: without reading the use-by date, late at night on the kitchen floor, alone, and belting out Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.”

Top Ten Top Ten Numbers of 2022

Tough choices this year, so many deserving but only so many spots!

10 New Year’s Resolutions Jason Definitely Wants Me to Keep This Year

I will sign up for an advanced crochet class to keep my hands busy during Jason’s softball practice (which is every Tuesday and Thursday). I will go to the gym, but only the one where the local softball team, the Beavers, work out. I will not let my past failures to become Jason’s girlfriend define me. And more!

What's IN & OUT For 2022

OUT Zombie apocalypse / IN Regular old boring apocalypse, and more!

CARTOON: December 32nd

Alternate time facts. Today's cartoon by Joe Wos.

Top Ten Numbers 1 Through 10 of 2020

Who will be the number 1 number of 2020? We can't wait to find out! Eeeeeeeee!

CARTOON: Clean Slate

For the gulls. Today's cartoons by Bob Eckstein.

10 New Year’s Resolutions Written For You by Your Jewish Mother

Read a book once in a while. I swear – if Instagram didn’t have captions your generation would be illiterate.  

CARTOON: Decisions, Decisions

New Year, New You. Sigh, what the shell am I gonna wear today? Today's cartoon by Mike Shiell.

Fad Diets To Try In The New Year

The New Paleo Diet: Only eat food you can grab with your short T-Rex arms. Triceratops is recommended.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s New Years Resolutions

You’ve got a lot to do in the new year, so let’s get this mirror pep talk started! It’s time for some New Year’s Resolutions!

CARTOON: OK Doomer!

OK Doomer. We are just getting started. Happy New Year! Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Focus Forward

Don't let looking back eat you up. Focus forward! Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

CARTOON: Baby New Year

The beginning of the end? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.