Posts

A Senator’s Holiday Gift Guide For His Secret Girlfriend

Following her back on Instagram from your official government account. Breaking it off with your second slightly more secret girlfriend. A dog. She needs emotional support from somewhere. And more!

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Exposed Himself On Stage At The Music Festival

Here’s an important rule to remember about penises: they should never be a surprise. You need consent from whoever you plan on showing your dingaling to before it makes an appearance. I don’t recall you getting on the mic and asking for the audience’s permission.

Hubris, Hamartia or HELL YEAH?

We’re all gathered at the Colosseum today to talk about the unsettling allegations against people in my position. And you know that position: dick out.

TESTIFY Fearless Flying Program

Counseling nervous flyers and victims of sexual assault since…

As a Father of a Son, I’m Very Concerned About Recent Events

When my son is middle aged, will his long record of sexual violence in high school and college come to light, momentarily jeopardizing his seat on the Supreme Court? The indignity!

Holy Moley Genitals, Batman! Other Times That Batman Has Exposed His Penis...

The Justice League's Christmas Parties, 1984 - 1997, at which point HR had to step in and get involved.

My Dick is Stuck in a Westworld Robot

I came to Westworld for the unbridled adventure. It’s a world…

Public Bathroom Etiquette: 11 Things You Don’t Say at Urinals

After multiple urinal related altercations in restrooms across…

CARTOON: Starry Night

Every Emoji Is a Dick Emoji

You've probably heard the old adage "the eggplant emoji is…

CARTOON: Organ Pride