Talk that Trump Jr. to be indicted by Mueller soon… Or, as Trump Sr. will say…
“Couldn’t pick him out of a lineup. Seriously. They asked me to pick him out of a lineup …. had no idea …. “
“Who?”
“People think it because of the same name thing. Ivanka named her cockapoo ‘Handsome,’ and you don’t see people saying I’m related to him.”
“Name rings a bell. As I remember, he had a hot sister.”
“Barely knew him. He babysat for my smart son, Eric.’
“The campaign volunteer? And, let me tell you, he was overpaid.”
“His mother sent him to his room without dinner. I don’t like sons who get sent to their rooms without dinner.”
“Heard he wet the bed. He’s no Trump. Everyone knows we have hookers do that for us.”
“So ungrateful. He begged me for allowance for the first 38 years of his life. And now this. Now this!”
“It’s like they say, ‘the apple doesn’t fall for from the tree.’ And, he and I climbed to the top of a tree, and I dropped him like an apple… “
“Hung around Trump Plaza a bit as a kid. Got caught going up on down escalator.. for a day and a half.”
“Ivana brought him to a family event. … Ate all the shrimp.”
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Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending, Congolese gynecologist, Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney’s, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog, Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that’s been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul’s time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…
