Texts From My Neighbor: Could You Take Care of My Plants? Oh, and One Other Thing…

2/7/2025 at 8:30 am

Hey neighbor! I know this is a HUGE ask, but would you mind watering my plants for me? I’m going to be gone 2/19-3/1 and am worried they won’t hold up. Thanks!

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2/13/2025 at 2:17 am

Thanks so much for agreeing to water my plants! 

 

Wanted to give you the rundown: Just fill up the measuring cup next to the sink with water and share it among the plants. 

 

Then, do 400 jumping jacks near my window so the water settles and distributes evenly. That’s it! Thanks again, Chica!

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2/15/2025 at 2:07 pm

OMG I’m so weird. I forgot that I have a plant on the desk in my office. Could you water that one, too? I work at 121 Smith St. #7. I recommend taking the train because parking is INSANE. It’s about a half hour on the subway and then a 15-minute walk. 

 

They can be really intense about security, so don’t forget to bring your license. Oh, and don’t wear anything with metal. 

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2/18/2025 at 12:03 pm

Oops, I almost forgot! I lost the keys to my unit three years ago, and now I just call the locksmith every time I need to get in. The good news is that Joe gives me a discount since it happens 1-3 times per day. Hopefully he’ll give you the same discount, but you may need to haggle a bit. Feel free to use my name! 

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2/19/2025 at 5:36 pm

Another teensy favor to ask: You might notice a puppy on my bed. (Or he might be hiding under the bed hehe.) That’s my dog Hank. Totally up to you if you want to just leave him be, but I’m worried he will defecate all over the apartment and starve to death if you don’t walk and feed him three times a day. I think I’m out of his favorite kibble, but it’s a quick 45-minute drive to the pet store that has the brand he likes (it’s called Solid Poos, get the rabbit flavor). Sorry, you can’t use Purina or anything like that or he’ll have explosive diarrhea and you’ll have to take him to the vet. LOL

 

Plane’s about to take off. GL! 

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2/21/2025 at 3:46 pm

Hmmm I was looking at an IG story from Hank’s friend Callie at the dog run this morning and I don’t see Hank in it. Not accusing or anything (maybe he was out of frame or something) but have you been taking him there three times a day? It’s just that he’s used to going and I thought that would be implied. 

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2/22/2025 at 12:22 am

Not sure you got my last message. Please confirm Hank has been going to the dog run 3-4 times per day. YOU MUST STAY THERE FOR AT LEAST 1 HOUR AND 25 MINUTES AT A TIME and bring his squeaky toy, but DON’T let anyone else get the squeaker, especially Gonzo. Thank you.

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2/25/2025 at 4:03 am

Ughhh I need to extend my trip by a few days, so it would be awesome if you could keep up your great work (I assume) with the plants. 

 

Quick note—while you’re at my office, please log into my computer and check if I have any emails from Charlotte Clark. If so, respond “NOT TODAY CHARLOTTE.” 

 

The password is OrcHidsPlusHank123! 

 

(I don’t have Outlook on my phone because I owe it to myself to maintain a work-life balance.)

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2/27/2025 at 3:06 am

Forgot to mention that the African violet is an heirloom that has been in the family for 117 years. I hope you’re taking extra good care of her 😉

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3/2/2025 at 3:01 am

I ordered 12 more plants that should arrive today or tomorrow. Please take them upstairs and repot them immediately. Make sure to keep the aloe on a shelf Hank can’t reach. Aloe plants are extremely toxic to dogs (I’m sure you already know that hehe).

 

Pots are in the cabinet above the refrigerator. Joe should be able to lend you a ladder.

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3/3/2025 at 4:32 am

 

Hey girl hey. I forgot my nephew’s school play is tonight! He was really counting on me being there…do you think you could go in my place? It’s at Little Tots Preschool at noon today. My sister has the same freckle on her left upper arm as I do, so you should spot her straight away hehe.

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3/6/2025 at 12:25 am

Can’t wait to see my plants! Hope they’re still alive 🙂 

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3/6/2025 at 12:27 am

They’re still alive, right???

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3/10/2025

Quick question: When you were watering my plants, did you notice that the edge of my carpet was slightly frayed? I’m asking because I tripped on it yesterday and am naming you as a defendant in the lawsuit. Xoxo