Originals
The Following Preview Has Been Approved For All Audiences By The Motion Picture Association Of America
THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA
THE FILM ADVERTISED HAS BEEN RATED
THEMATIC ELEMENTS,
PERVASIVE LANGUAGE,
TOO MANY PUNS FOR MY LIKING,
DEPICTIONS OF ANIMATED PENGUINS IN ADULT SITUATIONS,
PROFANELY REFERRING TO HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH THE SECOND AS “OL’ BETH, “
GRAPHIC IMAGES OF WALLACE SHAWN DOING THE MACARENA AT SOME SORT OF GALA EVENT,
A STRANGE REENACTMENT OF A SCENE FROM ‘EQUUS’ INVOLVING SOCK PUPPETS
LOUSY WEATHER
IMAGES OF DRUNKEN SAILORS BEATING UP THE DJ AND TAKING OVER THE BOOTH,
THEY SING SEA SHANTIES FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT,
WALLACE SHAWN CONTINUES TO DO THE MACARENA TO THE SEA SHANTIES,
DEPICTIONS OF ANIMATED PENGUINS IN THE RAIN WATCHING EVERYONE HAVING FUN THROUGH A WINDOW AND WONDERING WHY THEY WEREN’T INVITED TO THE PARTY,
THE SADNESS TURNS TO RAGE,
THEY RETURN TO THEIR UNDERGROUND BUNKER,
TO PLOT,
MEANWHILE, HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH THE SECOND LAMENTS THE FACT THAT SHE MAY NEVER FIND LOVE AGAIN,
BUT THEN A SEXY DANCE MACHINE CATCHES HER EYE,
WALLACE SHAWN,
EXCESSIVE DRUG USE,
HE IS INCREDIBLY SPRY FOR HIS AGE,
OL’ BETH GOES TO THE DJ BOOTH TO REQUEST THE SAILORS PLAY BABY GOT BACK
THE SAILORS PERFORM A SURPRISINGLY GOOD ACAPELLA VERSION OF THE SONG
IMAGES OF THE QUEEN HAVING IT AND FLAUNTING IT,
SHE IS INCREDIBLY SPRY FOR HER AGE,
GRAPHIC IMAGES OF WALLACE SHAWN GETTING SO LOST IN THE MUSIC THAT HE TEARS HIS SHIRT OFF AND THROWS IT INTO AN ADORING CROWD,
IMAGES OF ‘OL’ BETH’ GETTING A SHIRT THROWN IN HER FACE,
FOR HER, IT’S LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT,
BUT HE DOESN’T NOTICE HER,
AND SHE DIGS THAT,
SHE SNIFFS THE SHIRT AND FEELS A SENSATION OVERCOME HER THAT SHE HASN’T FELT IN QUITE SOME TIME,
LUST,
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EVENT IS THIS?
NOW IS THE TIME
THE PENGUINS START THEIR MARCH
A MARCH OF PENGUINS, IF YOU WILL
DEPICTIONS OF ANIMATED PENGUINS LAYING WASTE TO THE TOWN
THEY GET PAST SECURITY AND HOLD EVERYONE IN THE PARTY HOSTAGE
THE DRUNKEN SAILORS WHO ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A FIGHT TRY THEIR BEST TO THWART OFF THE PENGUIN ARMY
ALL BUT ONE OF THEM PERISH
‘GREG’ THE ONLY SAILOR REMAINING, RUNS OFF AND HIDES LIKE A COWARD
THE PENGUIN LEADER GRABS THE MICROPHONE AND MAKES A SPEECH ABOUT HOW THEY’VE BEEN TREATED POORLY LONG ENOUGH, AND NOW IT’S THEIR TIME TO TAKE BACK WHAT BELONGS TO THEM
EVERYONE IS CONFUSED BECAUSE THEY DON’T SPEAK PENGUIN,
THE PENGUIN LEADER DIRECTS HIS CRONIES TO SET FIRE TO THE BUILDING
BUT NOT BEFORE THEY TAKE THE MOST VALUABLE TREASURE IN THE ROOM
WALLACE SHAWN
KIDNAPPING
ARSON
A SHIRTLESS WALLACE SHAWN NOT ALLOWING FEAR AND INTIMIDATION TO STOP HIM FROM DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST
THE MACARENA
DEPICTIONS OF ‘OL’ BETH’ SURROUNDED BY CARNAGE AND RUBBLE
SHE RETURNS TO HER SECRET ROOM AT THE PALACE, WHERE SHE COMES TO THE CONCLUSION THAT SHE MUST BREAK THE PROMISE SHE MADE TO HERSELF ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, NEVER TO KILL AGAIN
IT IS TIME TO REMIND THESE PENGUINS WHO THE QUEEN IS
YIPPIE KI YAY MOTHER FUCKER
RECKLESS DRIVING
STYLIZED ACTION SEQUENCES
SHE REALLY IS INCREDIBLY SPRY FOR HER AGE
NO ACTUAL PENGUINS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS FILM
WOW
NEVERMIND
I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU CAN FAKE THAT
THE QUEEN RESCUES WALLACE SHAWN AND TELLS HIM HOW SHE TRULY FEELS
SHE TELLS HIM THAT SHE’S LOVED HIM FROM THE MOMENT SHE SAW HIM DANCING AT THAT PARTY AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO AND WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HER DAYS WITH HIM
WALLACE SHAWN EXPLAINS THAT HE’S NOT THE “RELATIONSHIP” TYPE AND THAT ALTHOUGH SHE SEEMS LIKE A GREAT PERSON, SHE’S JUST NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR HIM BECAUSE HE’S SO IN LOVE WITH DANCING THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE THE TIME TO GIVE TO HER THAT SHE DESERVES
THEY GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS, AND EVEN THOUGH HER MAJESTY FEELS SOMEWHAT MELANCHOLY, SHE ALSO HAS A FEELING OF HOPE
IMAGES OF OL’ BETH NOT CRYING BECAUSE IT’S OVER BUT SMILING BECAUSE IT HAPPENED
AS SHE WALKS AWAY, SHE HEARS A FAMILIAR VOICE
A VOICE THAT SHE’S HEARD BEFORE, AND IT BRINGS HER COMFORT
SHE TURNS AROUND AND SEES ‘GREG’ THE COWARDLY SAlLOR SINGING BABY GOT BACK TO HER
HE HANDS HER A ROSE AND TELLS HER THAT HE’S LOVED HER FROM THE MOMENT HE SAW HER DANCING AT THAT PARTY AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO AND WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS DAYS WITH HER
SHE SNIFFS THE ROSE AND FEELS A SENSATION OVERCOME HER THAT SHE HASN’T FELT IN QUITE SOME TIME
LOVE
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I was born. My parents raised me and I grew into a person that likes some things and dislikes other things.
