Lesser Known Holiday Specials

Murder on the Polar Express: The kids are forced to solve the murder of Mr. Conductor with the help of Hercule Poirot, who just happens to be on the train.

CARTOON: Super Powers

The Amazing Literary Cinephile. Today's cartoon by Michael Litwak.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Sounds Off On Other Movies

No Time To Die: "On the contrary, I'm afraid.   This 007 James Bond fellow would have more than likely died years ago, if not from cirrhosis of the liver, than from one of the several dozen STDs that he has surely contracted over the decades." 

Biographies of Side Characters in Every Rom-Com

Female Lead’s Sidekick: You can expect Female Lead’s Sidekick to assert herself once when Female Lead lashes out at her or takes her for granted for the 700th time. But then, Female Lead will bring over Phish Food ice cream (it’s their thing) with two spoons and say, “Sidekick, you know you’re my rock. Can we be forever again? You know I’d literally die for you.” 

Hollywood Memo: I.P. Daily

Star Jaws: An intergalactic space shark threatens the Republic of Planets and a scrappy band of rebels are called in to destroy it.

Famous Movie Lines Had They Used A.I.

The Godfather, Star Wars, Terminator, and more really lose their zippy taglines in this illustrated list.

If Famous Crime Movies Revolved Around Kohl's Cash

Point Break: FBI rookie Johnny Utah is tasked with catching a group of masked thieves who rob Kohl’s cashiers at gunpoint for all the Kohl’s Cash in their drawers, plus some checkout line chocolate. Utah learns the bandits are surfers and they have been robbing Kohl’s Cash so they can buy sick surfing graphic tees.

Unfortunately Fortuitous Quotes From the Animated Film Playing Down the Hall As You and Your Partner Climax

“Ready or not, I’m coming in hot!” -Paw Patrol: The Movie (2021)

I’ll Be Honest, I Thought Robbing Banks Would Be Easier

To rob a bank, you don’t need a gun. You need heart. You also need an accomplice, a getaway driver, and nuns’ costumes like in The Town, from critically-acclaimed director Ben Affleck.

Movies In the Cocaine Bear Cinematic Universe

Alcohol Walrus, Weed Donkey, Ether Bunny, and more!

Only ‘90s Kids Will Remember All These Great Catchphrases from the Best Jim Carrey Movies

“Talk about a series of unfortunate events…in my pants!” A Series of Unfortunate Events, "Does this cable smell like farts to you?" The Cable Guy, “I didn’t fart, JK LOL I did!” Liar Liar, and more!

The Secrets Behind Your Favorite Movie SFX

The cats in “Cats”: Without a doubt, the greatest ordeal of my whole career. They always say to never work with children, animals or Dame Judi Dench, and I wish to God I had listened. We could have simply used special effects to depict the titular felines, but Dame Judi had other ideas. Striving for authenticity, she ate only tuna throughout the shoot, pooped in a box and licked herself clean each morning.

Horror Movie Villains Explain Why They’re Quiet Quitting

Pennywise: I really want to reclaim some time for myself. Maybe go back to clown college. Being a shape-shifting manifestation of children’s nightmares can be so draining. I’m tired of watching my victims float around all day while I do all the work. I've finally realized it's MY turn to float down a lazy river sipping a mocktail while clocking in some well-deserved PTO (Pennywise Time Off).


Pumpkin Up The Volume, Ice Sage, Fast Times At Ridgemont Chai, and more #FallFlavorAFilm on this week's trending joke game!

Michael Bay Punches Up Classic Literature

Moby-Dick, by Herman Melville: First of all, love the title. Hilarious. Not everyone can do comedy, but Herman, you got the gift, man. Secondly, there’s some great bones in this idea. Crazy guy versus a big ass sea monster? Awesome. I dunno how I feel about it being a white whale, though. How about a giant shark? Or, better yet, some kind of alien robot that shoots lasers out of its eyes. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Totally True Oscar Facts

Tom Hanks, Sean Penn, and Jack Nicholson are secretly all the same man. Disney's Dumbo is the first NC-17 film to ever be nominated. No one has ever seen The English Patient. And more!

The Following Preview Has Been Approved For All Audiences By The Motion Picture Association Of America


Every Interview With a 1970s Hollywood Producer

Interviewer: Exactly how much cocaine did you do in the 1970s? *Note: Bergmann stands up, proceeds to get a ladder, and climbs to the second to last step on the ladder, so he can hold out his hand and give an accurate representation regarding the height of a mass cocaine mountain.


Three Men and a Baby Artichoke, When Harry Met Salad, The Princess Chive, and more #VegARomCom on this week's trending joke game!


Yankenstein, Sleepy Swallow, An American Werewolf in Linda, and more #HornyHorrorMovies on this week's trending joke game!

“Swamp Monster Makeovers: Fabulous Species-Defying Transformations to Win Friends and Confuse People” An Excerpt from How to Survive a Human Attack: A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters by K.E. Flann

HAVE YOU NOTICED an influx of fashionistas in your neigh­borhood? These newcomers and their fabulous everyday infinity scarves are so intriguing that you’ve already snatched a few strang­ers from their research vessel. But even though you were raised by alligators or gestated in a nuclear cooling pool, you understand that these encounters have not been on point.

Humdrum Horror Hobbies

When he's not stabbing and slashing in an effort to transfer his soul into a human body, Chucky loves tormenting others by working the call center at several telemarketing and bill collection companies.

Martin Short was Named After his Height and other Insight from an Unofficial Hollywood Tour

Hollywood isn’t just known for entertainment though, it is home to many famous restaurants. The iconic chain In & Out is to your right, which was first created as part of a promotional campaign for the 1997 Kevin Kline film of the same name.

80s Movies: The Updated List

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Student Debt. The Gluten-Free Breakfast Club, Little Etsy Shop of Horrors, and more!


Final Fartasy, Raiders of the Lost Fart, The Eversmelling Story, and more #FartyFantasyFilms, on this week's trending joke game!


When Harry Wet Sally, Rainspotting, Monty Python and the Holy Pail. and more #MoistenAMovie on this week's trending joke game!

Popular Romantic Comedies Rewritten for 2021

500 Days of Summer Might Convince People That Climate Change Is Real, There's Something About Mary That Makes You Think She’s the Kind of Person Who’d Fill Plastic Bags with Gasoline, Four Maskless Weddings That Led to at Least One Funeral, and more!

Obituary: Film Critic's Life Lacked Compelling Narrative Arc

Internet movie critic Robert “Bob” Umeck passed away in his sleep on Friday night at the age of 79. Bob’s death was as uneventful as his life, which can be described, at best, as thoroughly mediocre. What began as a promising youth quickly devolved into a middle age section that failed to adequately deliver on its original premise.

Conversations That May Have Taken Place Off-Camera

The Wizard Of Oz: Cowardly Lion: I think I'm kind of into her guys. Tin Man: Oh Lion... Cowardly Lion: What should I do? Scarecrow: I think you should tell her. Tin Man: Tell her what? “Hey Dorothy. I know that you're a small town girl from Kansas and I'm a lion, but when all this is over do you want to go to the movies sometime?” 

Welcome Back To The Cinema!

Popcorn butter pump doubles as butter flavored hand sanitizer. No heavy breathing during sexy scenes unless masked. And more!

James Bond Meets QAnon

QAnon- Now, now, Mr. Bond.... this item is quite ingenious! When you place it upon your head, you're instantly able to read the mind of anyone in your surrounding area! Just imagine being able to see into the deepest, darkest corners of your enemy's psyche! And then to post about it online, where everyone can see!


Fun with Dick and Jane Eyre, 50 First Grapes of Wrath, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Groundhog Day, and more #BookARomCom on this week's trending joke game!

Teen Comedies For The Upcoming Post-Apocalyptic World

National Lampoon's Animal Cave: What sort of hijinx ensue when humans are forced to live in caves with wild animals? The animals eat the humans, we assume.


While You Were Seeping, Rotting Hill, How to Lose a Sty in 10 Days, and more #RevoltingRomComs on this week's trending joke game!


The French Toast Connection, Romancing the Scone, Scream! Of Wheat, and more #BreakfastAMovie on this week's trending joke game!


Night Of The Living Gingerbread, The Hills Have Elves, Nightmare On Elf Street, and more #HolidayAHorrorMovie on this week's trending joke game!

80s Movies Mash-Up

Ferris Bueller’s Nightmare on Elm Street, Revenge of the Scanners, Full Metal Jedi, and more!

Hallmark Channel Presents: Alt-right Rom-coms!

Carrying a Tiki Torch For You: Small town patriots Kirk and Allie meet while protesting the removal of a Confederate statue and sparks fly—literally, from their flaming tiki torches! Kirk falls fast for Allie, but in order to save the family hardware store, Kirk has already agreed to marry an Harvard-educated lady lawyer who voted for Hillary. Can Kirk find a way to save the store, be with the woman he loves, and maybe even lock up his fiancée?

90s Movie Plot Points Adjusted for 2020

Titanic: The ill-fated ship never ends up sailing because, well, COVID. Jack ended up just hanging out in Southampton continuing to make each day count, and playing card games that allowed him to maintain a safe social distance. Rose of course ends up married to Cal, but not without building a really impressive Pinterest board of wedding ideas first! It made for a really boring movie, but the ending is now unbelievably happy. 1,500 people got to live, and the marriage between Billy Zane and Kate Winslet produced some ridiculously good-looking children.

Gluten-Free John Hughes Movies

Planes, Trains and Autoimmune Disorders Preventing the Enjoyment of Regular Breads and Cakes

A Look Back on the Beatles, the Worst Band of the 1990s

“I Wanna Be Your Terminator 2” “With a Little Help from My Friends (Theme from Friends)” “You’re Gonna Lose That Macarena Girl” and more!

Classic Dog Films, Starring Cats

HOMEWARD BOUND: The SEAVER FAMILY’s three cats, CHANCE, SHADOW and SASSY, are abandoned at a ranch by mistake. Faced with making an inspiring, cross-country journey back to their loving owners, the three cats immediately give up and decide to become the property of whoever will feed them first. The Seaver family never see their pets again.

Instructions for My Inclusion in the Oscars In Memoriam Section

As indicated in my will, I am open to sponsorship from brands if there's a natural tie in.

CARTOON: Seattle's Best

Not losing a wink with delts like these. Today's cartoon by Jason Chatfield.

Hallmark Hanukkah Movies

Menorah or Less: Investment banker Ilan loses his money, his apartment, and his girlfriend when his firm goes under. He takes a job at a meal-delivery service where a late-night order for a pastrami sandwich leads him to Hannah who needs help saving her startup.

Failed Star Wars Merchandising Tie-Ins

Huggies Anakin Skywalker Transition Diapers: For the toddler that doesn't want to be viewed as a crying baby, but still has occasional bouts with the Dark Side.

Other Movies We Should Also Add James Dean Into, Now That This Is Something That We, As A Society, Do Apparently

Well, looks like we’ve opened up Pandora’s box, folks! An upcoming independent film will be digitally adding James Dean into it, further blurring the increasingly-tenuous line between CGI and reality.  However, since this is something that we, as a society, are apparently cool with doing now… here are a few more movies that we should digitally insert James Dean into!


Brains, Chains & Automobiles, Love, Hackually, It's A Wonderful Knife, and more #HorrorHolidayMovies on our weekly joke game!

Whimsical, Feel-Good Alternatives to Some Stephen King Classics

Carry: Blanch is not a popular girl. See, Blanch has an imaginary friend she talks to whenever the impulse takes her: a pet rock she calls Carry.

Horror Movie Sequels Inspired By The Trump Era

Alien vs Creditor: Tax Returns, The Unfair Witchhunt Project, Creature from the Fat Buffoon, and more!

Shocking Twists Recalibrated For Cardiac Patients

“Fight Club” – Brad Pitt and Ed Norton turn out to be the same person – when it comes to their taste in room décor. The real first rule of Fight Club? “Do not talk about where you got that adorable area rug!” 


Raiders of the Lost Carp, Death Fish, Get Trout and more #FishAnActionMovie on this week's hashtag game!

Dr. Frankenstein And The Terrifying Trailer For The Film Version Of Cats

“Why are some of the cats wearing fur coats?” repeated Igor. “If they’re cats, why do they need clothing? And if the coats are made of fur, then what are they using to make the coats? More cats?


'How To Lose A Pie In 10 Days', 'Dove, Actually', '50 first cakes', and more #RomComDesserts!

Are you a Marx Brother or Mark’s Brother?

Marx Brother: Your family is known for its vaudeville comedy acts. Mark’s Brother: Your family is known for not taking down their Christmas lights.

Plot Lines for the Next 8 ‘Toy Story’ Movies

Toy Story 6 (2025) Bonnie, now in her early twenties, introduces a new kind of toy to her closet. In a drama reminiscent of the 1995 original, our characters must compete with a new “Woody” and “Buzz” for Bonnie’s affection.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Movies Updated for 2019

Twins, and heirs to their family’s designer jean fortune, Bianca and Taylor are attending USC this fall on a full field hockey scholarship. The only problem? They don’t play field hockey. Now their mom is being indicted on charges of fraud and extortion.

Original Dialogue Behind Famous Improvised Movie Lines

Improvised: “Thff thff thff thff thff thff.” – Anthony Hopkins Original: “Thff Thff.” In a stroke of genius, Hopkins improvised four more thff’s than the script called for. Another fun fact is that Hopkins also improvised Hannibal Lector being a cannibal.

Talkward w/ guest Eric D'Alessandro

This episode of Talkward welcomes comedian and actor Eric D'Alessandro! Eric has a commanding internet following across multiple platforms where he has leveraged digital media reach to drastically grow his fan base. His short videos get an average of 50 thousand views each, which helps him sell out shows and land acting roles.


From Here To Maternity, Raiders of the Lost Matriarch, 10 Things I Hate About Your Dirty Room and more #MomAMovie in this week's trending game!

I’ll Let the Hostages Go When You Agree to a Sky High Sequel

Can you imagine my pain of not living in a Sky High oriented world for so long? The rejection from society turning me into a Sky High pariah? My friends don’t even remember the name of the villain (it’s Gwen).

Worst Movies of the Year

RebaCop- How about a movie exactly like Robocop, but as portrayed by country music act Reba McEntire? Um, no thanks. And audiences for once agreed. At least this failure saves us from the possibility of the studio's proposed shared "RebaVerse". And more.

Reheated Thanksgiving Horror Flicks

I Spit On Your Gravy, Silence Of The Yams, Soylent Green Bean get it.

Other Horror Movie Remakes That Will Be Following The New Halloween Model...

The Amityville Horror: The house is no longer haunted, but there are a few foundation problems that probably need to be looked at. And that front porch is going to need a bit of work, for sure. And more.

Hallmark Halloween Movies

Pumpkin Spicy: Ryan, a nice Christian man who probably voted for Trump — but it won’t come up — always wins the town’s annual pie contest with his classic pumpkin pie. But this year he has a new adversary — Sophie. And more.


It was a spooky, suspenseful and sad boost of adulting this week on our Weekly Humorist Witty Wednesday Hashtag game! On @HashtagRoundUp powered by @TheHashtagGame. We trended #5 in USA and make it to Twitter Moments! Play our comedy hashtag twitter games every Wednesday at 11 am EST.

The Top Romantic Comedies of 2098

Future problems: Nuclear war, A.I. domination, Emboldened gangs of cockroaches. Same issues: Finding a man for that quirky but lovable single lady!

A Dozen New Oscars So That Your Favorite Wins Something

1. Best Live Action Feature with Talking Infants or Animals   2.…

Classic Male Movies Remade as “Feminist” Flicks

Ghostbusters, Oceans 8, and the coming-soon remakes of timeless stories like 'What a Woman Wants' have shown us that women have very low standards for what is considered a feminist “win” for Hollywood. So here are my pitches for the next ballbuster blockbuster...

James Joyce Writes Taglines for Famous Movies

The 40-Year-Old Virgin Frolick too late, no joy. The…

Are You Hollywood Pansies Ready To Buy The Actionest Action Movie Of All Time?

Sup, bitches. Welcome to our pitch for the action movie-thriller-experience…

Storylines for the Next Batch of Cloverfield Movies

The Cloverfield FRIENDS! At last, the 90 minute “Friends”…

Talkward w/ guest Bridget Fitzgerald

In this episode of Talkward, actress, comedian, and model…

Elevator Pitches for Lifetime Movies

She had to do it Because She Couldn't Have Kids. Janelle, a…

Animated Movies To Properly Prepare Kids For the Real World

Finding Chemo The Little Barmaid Stuck In A Dead End Job The…

Trumped Oscar Films

The American Academy of Arts & Sciences announced during…

How I Should Be Depicted in the Movies

Never show me looking through binoculars at a nudist colony.…

Trump/Putin Rom-Coms

Four Elections and An Impeachment Donald is a brash but sensitive…

Fall Movie Preview

It's fall, time to wave goodbye to the people shooting at you…