More Obscure Ways Of Bringing Back Luck

Opening a can of peanut brittle while on a roller coaster.

Juggling fruits and / or vegetables that were purchased at a Farmer’s Market in a primarily red-state.

Using the batteries from your recently deceased father’s pacemaker as replacement batteries for your remote control.

Grating a block of pepper jack cheese while humming a song by the Oak Ridge Boys.

Having your nipples pierced in a construction site porta potty.

Wearing parachute pants while walking through a Protestant cemetery after dark.

Accidentally setting fire to the colostomy bag of an albino choir director.

Ejaculating into a sock that was a Christmas present from your grandmother.