Conversations That May Have Taken Place Off-Camera


Detective Somerset: Wow. That got pretty crazy.

Captain: Oof! I’ll say.

Detective Somerset: Say, Captain. What’s going to happen with that box?

Captain: Well, we’re going to send it to the morgue and

Detective Somerset: No. I mean the box.

Captain: Excuse me?

Detective Somerset: Well, today is my last day and I was going to clean off my desk… Captain: Oh my goodness! That box would have been perfect!

Detective Somerset: I know!

Captain: Sit tight girlfriend. I’m going to go grab it.

Reservoir Dogs

Cop 1: Hey Paul! Get a load of this!

Cop 2: Jesus Jake!

Cop 1: Hehehehehe

Cop 2: You really need to stop giving the evidence wet willies. It’s not funny anymore.  Cop 1: Hehehehehe

Jurassic Park

John Hammond: How did it go?

Scientist: Sir, I want you to keep in mind that genetic engineering is very complex. We still don’t  understand it fully and since we’re still in the early stages of this thing we’re not going to strike gold  every single time. Sometimes it’s going to be a bust.

John Hammond: But, you were able to clone the contents of the mosquito?

Scientist: Yes.

John Hammond: Well, what happened?

Ethel Merman: In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking but now God  knnnooooooowwwwwwsssss!!! Anything gooooeeeeeesssss!!!

On The Waterfront

Father Barry: You know… I’m just wondering if this whole boxing thing is a good career move, pal.

Terry Malloy: Listen, Father. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but trust me, okay? I’m gonna have  class. I’m going to be a contender. I’m going to be somebody, and definitely not a bum, which I promise you I am NOT!

Father Barry: Well as long as you’re sure this is what you want to do. I guess if it doesn’t pan out you  can always get a job, “On The Waterfront”

Terry Malloy: Ha! I see what you did there. I love when that happens.

Brokeback Mountain

Sheep 1: What do you think they’re doing in there?

Sheep 2: I don’t know, but it sure sounds fun.

Sheep 1: Well, whatever it is I hope they remember that they’re being paid to herd us.  Sheep 2: That’s right. Tent friendships don’t pay the bills fellas!

Sheep 1: Ha! Aint it the truth?

Return Of The Jedi

Luke: So…

Leia: So?

Luke: Are we going to talk about it?

Leia: I don’t think we should.

Luke: I think we should talk about it.

Leia: I didn’t know we were… When we did the… You know…

Luke: Yeah, neither did I.

Leia: …

Luke: You’re a really good kisser though.

Leia: Jesus Luke!

Luke: Are you and Han like serious?

Leia: I’m walking away now.

Luke: Okay. If you change your mind and don’t want to be siblings anymore just let me know!

Mulholland Dr.

Naomi Watts: What the fuck is going on? It’s bizarre.

David Lynch: It’s surreal!

Ethel Merman: It’s delightful, it’s delicious, it’s delectable, it’s delirious, it’s dilemma, it’s delimit, it’s  deluxe, it’s de-lovely!!!

The Wizard Of Oz

Cowardly Lion: I think I’m kind of into her guys.

Tin Man: Oh Lion…

Cowardly Lion: What should I do?

Scarecrow: I think you should tell her.

Tin Man: Tell her what? “Hey Dorothy. I know that you’re a small town girl from Kansas and I’m a lion,  but when all this is over do you want to go to the movies sometime?”

Scarecrow: What’s the worst that could happen? She says no?

Tin Man: Are you serious?

Scarecrow: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take Tin Man.

Tin Man: Oh good one. Who told you that?

Scarecrow: Wayne Gretzky.

When Harry Met Sally

Woman at the diner: I’ll have what she’s having.

Server: Pastrami?

Woman at the diner: No. The orgasm.

Server: Ma’am I can’t give you an orgas

Woman at the diner: Extra mustard if you know what I mean.  Server: No I don’t know what that means.

Woman at the diner: Chop chop server boy.

The Excorcist

Father Merrin: I’m hungry. Want to go to Denny’s or something?  Father Karras: What? Are you serious?

Father Merrin: I could go for some pancakes.

Father Karras: How can you eat after that!

Father Merrin: I’m hungry!

Father Karras: For Denny’s?

Father Merrin: Is it midnight yet?

Father Karras: It’s 12:42 am. What does that matter? Father Merrin: Cause I can get a free Grand Slam today.  Father Karras: Oh my Gosh… It’s your birthday today, isn’t it.  Father Merrin: …

Father Karras: I’m sorry man. I forgot.

Father Merrin: You know what… It’s whatever dude. I don’t even want to go anymore. Take me home.

Cast Away

Chuck: Islands in the stream, that is what we are

Wilson: …………………….

Chuck: Sail away with me, to another world

Wilson: …………………….

Chuck: And we rely on each other, huhn hah, From one lover to another huhn hah. Wilson: …………………….

Chuck: That was so much fun Wilson.

Wilson: ……………………

Chuck: Awe! You have a lovely voice too. Let’s do another! Do you know That Boy Is Mine by Brandy  and Monica?

The Notebook

Noah: I’m going to marry you someday.

Allie: That’d be nice.

Noah: We’ll live together and raise a family.

Allie: Awe! I’d like that.

Noah: Then we’ll grow old together and eventually your memory will start to fade.  Allie: Oh wow. That’s a little dark.

Noah: And eventually you’ll forget who I am entirely. I’ll still visit you everyday, but you’ll just think  I’m some nice man who comes to tell you nice stories. I’ll tell you the story of our love and as I do  you’ll start to slowly remember who I am and for just a little bit we’ll get to feel young again. Like we  are now.

Allie: That’s kind of sweet I guess.

Noah: Then we die. You die and then I die. In the same bed.

Allie: What the fuck is wrong with you Noah?


Mrs. Watkins: Officer Brody. What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?

Chief Brody: Mrs. Watkins… I regret to have to come here under these circumstances but, there has  been an accident in the water involving your daughter Chrissy.

Mrs. Watkins: Oh no! What happened!

Chief Brody: Well her and a boy went out earlier on a date. They had gotten some some food and  decided to go for a late night swim and… Well, she’s gone ma’am.

Mrs. Watkins: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Chrissy! I told her! I told her a million times not to swim  until thirty minutes after she’s eaten.

Chief Brody: No. It was a shark attack. A shark ate your daughter.

Mrs. Watkins: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Somebody go get that shark! It shouldn’t be swimming  until thirty minutes after it’s eaten.


Bill Sikes: You’d think that adorable little orphan boys would make great pickpockets, but honestly  that’s a misconception. Only about one out of every thirty actually have what it takes.

Nancy: Right.

Bill Sikes: What’s wrong? What is your deal tonight?

Nancy: It’d be nice if we could go one night without you talking about burglary and little orphaned pickpockets Bill.

Bill Sikes: And I thought it would be nice to have a supportive girlfriend who’d listen to my dreams for once.

Planet Of The Apes

George Taylor: You finally really did it. You maniacs! You blew it up!

Ethel Merman: The world has gone mad today, and good’s bad today, and black’s white today George Taylor: ETHEL! Will you shut the hell up! Please!

Ethel Merman:

George Taylor: Ethel I’m sorry. You saw an ugly side of me back there. It’s just that I’m kind of having a rough day today. Just give me a minute or two to collect myself and we’ll sing some songs together.

Ethel Merman:

George Taylor: Fine… Islands in the stream, That is what we are

Ethel Merman: No one in between, how can we be wrong

Chuck: Sail away with me, to another world

George Taylor: And we rely on each other, huhn hah

Ethel Merman: From one lover to another, huhn hah

Chuck: Take it away Wilson!

Wilson: …………………….


(Photo: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)