The Joker’s Favorite Practical Jokes
Place a large bucket of water on top of a door, balancing the bucket upon the door by keeping the door slightly ajar. The next person who walks through the door’s entrance way will be surprised as they’re suddenly coated in water, as several miles away the Bat-Cave erupts in explosions, killing Robin and severely injuring Batman.
Using a sheet of cling-wrap, place a transparent barrier between the seat and lid of your victim’s commode. When they next attempt to use the facilities, they will be in for an unpleasant surprise, as will the Caped Crusader, who will be savagely devoured by a swarm of vicious crocodiles unleashed upon Wayne Enterprises by yours truly!
Place a top of the line whoopee cushion, no cheap toy-store knock-offs, if you please, beneath the sofa or chair cushion of your victim. When their full weight is placed upon the cushion, the room will erupt with the sounds of flatulence, at the exact moment that Batman suddenly shits his pants while engaged in battle with The Riddler.
Stealthily approach your sleeping prank victim, placing one of their hands into a bowl of warm water; the odd sensation will cause them to urinate while still asleep, a sensation not entirely dissimilar to the one experienced by Batman and Batgirl, bound to one another and slowly lowered into a vat of bubbling acid in my elaborate amusement park hideout.
Surreptitiously place a sign reading “Kick Me” on the back of your subject, then sit back and enjoy as others playfully chuckle behind his or her back. Your prank victim will wonder what the heck is going on, just as Batman will wonder what the heck is going on when he wakes in a drug-induced fog, buried alive beneath a body of sewage water that will quickly fill his grave if he attempts an escape.
Fill a paper bag with excrement and place said bag onto the front porch of a neighbor, before lighting the bag on fire and ringing the doorbell. Your neighbor will discover the blaze, and in an effort to stomp out the flames, will find that his shoes are covered with poop! His humiliation and horror will only be matched by The Batman, cradling the broken corpse of yet another sidekick, dragged screaming into a hellish abyss by the Clown Prince Of Crime, The Joker.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
