The Omicron Variants
Omicone: An iced treat made from disease
Omicroc: Semiaquatic reptile who coughs on you
Omicrone: Malady which targets elderly witches
Omicronk: The world’s most infectious dinosaur
Omicon: Convinces you your money is worthless and you should give it all to the variant
Omicomp: No charge for getting sick! (But well’s gonna cost.)
Omiconk: Blow to the head that gives you a fever
Omicorn: Even better with butter
OmiClaus: Jolly fat man who brings the gift of quarantine
OmiKant: Symptoms include a belief that reason is the source of morality. Also a throbbing headache.
OmiKent: Super-spreader disguised as mild-mannered reporter
OmiCran: The world’s most infectious soft drink
Omiclone: Bacteria that looks like Omicron but only causes whimsy
Omiscone: British biscuit that’s delicious, and communicable
OmiCohen: You call that sick? Try living next to the Berkowitzes’ cats for thirty years, then you’ll be sick!
OmiKhan: Ancient Mongol warrior who sneezed on his enemies
Omicrank: Tool used to change tires on an ambulance
OmiKlan: Gets all your Ku’s Kluxier… and kontagious
Omicrass: Person who brags about how sick they are
Omichrist: The world’s most infectious deity
Omigod: What you say when you get it
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David Misch is a former stand-up comedian, author (“Funny: The Book,” “A Beginner’s Guide To Corruption”), screenwriter (“Mork & Mindy,” “Saturday Night Live,” “The Muppets Take Manhattan”), teacher (his own courses on comedy at USC and musical satire at UCLA) and lecturer (Yale, Columbia the Smithsonian, Oxford University, University of Sydney, University of Auckland, VIEW Cinema Conference (Torino, Italy) Raindance Film Festival (London), Austin Film Festival, American Film Institute, Lucasfilm, Sony Pictures, Walt Disney Studios, Second City, Actors Studio). His play “Occupied” is in development at the Skylight Theatre in Los Angeles. More at davidmisch.com.
