Various Other GOP Conspiracy Theories About Taylor Swift

Taylor has the ability to telepathically control a certain species of brain worm, which she used to influence the Trump jury during their deliberations on the amount of money to be awarded to E Jean Carroll.

Taylor is in actuality a garden gnome, magically brought to life by the liberal Illuminati,  in order to give Mitch McConnell a massive wedgie during their battle to the death as reality crumbles around them.

The Swifties are cloned from a single teenage girl who traveled to our time from Jan 6th, 7008.    On this date in the future, the 28,532nd insurrection against the capital was attempted by TrumpBot and his legion of mutant followers.    In desperation, members of the non-mutant community sent this teenage girl back in time to influence the early actions of the future President Swift.

If you rearrange the letters of the Kansas City Chief’s 2023 coach roster correctly, you will uncover secret messages between Taylor, Travis Kelce and an ancient undersea deity. This deity wants revenge on Trump for the huge amounts of fast-food packaging he tossed into the ocean off of the coast of Epstein Island for countless years.

Immediately following the latest Super Bowl win by the Kansas City Chiefs, as well as Taylor Swift’s endorsement of Joe Biden at the exact same moment, Taylor and Travis will embrace as a cocoon made from Nancy Pelosi’s pants suits forms around them.    Shortly thereafter the cocoon will start a podcast that shares thoughts and opinions offensive to the GOP and MAGA nation.