Various Other GOP Conspiracy Theories About Taylor Swift
Taylor has the ability to telepathically control a certain species of brain worm, which she used to influence the Trump jury during their deliberations on the amount of money to be awarded to E Jean Carroll.
Taylor is in actuality a garden gnome, magically brought to life by the liberal Illuminati, in order to give Mitch McConnell a massive wedgie during their battle to the death as reality crumbles around them.
The Swifties are cloned from a single teenage girl who traveled to our time from Jan 6th, 7008. On this date in the future, the 28,532nd insurrection against the capital was attempted by TrumpBot and his legion of mutant followers. In desperation, members of the non-mutant community sent this teenage girl back in time to influence the early actions of the future President Swift.
If you rearrange the letters of the Kansas City Chief’s 2023 coach roster correctly, you will uncover secret messages between Taylor, Travis Kelce and an ancient undersea deity. This deity wants revenge on Trump for the huge amounts of fast-food packaging he tossed into the ocean off of the coast of Epstein Island for countless years.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
