Truly Terrible Signs That You Were Abducted By Aliens And Then Mindwiped

VHS tape of Legally Blonde 2 obviously watched but not rewound.

WWE logo has been shaved into the hair on your wife’s back.

Tattoo of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson now has crossed eyes and stink lines coming from his bottom.

Banjo has been filled with cottage cheese and Target brand body spray.

Your copies of National Inquirer have been reorganized in order of the number of articles about Justin Timberlake.

Large portions of the Bible no longer make very much sense.

All of the Frosted Flakes boxes are empty, even the one you had hidden behind the Shredded Wheat.

Your meth pipe tastes like it’s been sitting in your septic tank for an extended period of time.

Rebel flag in the front yard is now hot pink and purple rather than red and blue.

A small portion of umbilical cord is sticking out of your bottom.


by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence