Wedding Rejection Emails
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Dear Mary,
I regret to inform you that I will be unable to move forward with attending your wedding this spring. Unfortunately, I receive a number of qualified applicants, and I have to choose wisely. I don’t usually give feedback, but in this case, the wedding you’ve submitted is not a culture fit for my social life because you’ve failed to provide information on whether or not there will be an open bar.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny
Dear Sarah,
After careful consideration, I have to report that I’m unable to add your wedding to my social calendar. I have a 10% acceptance rate on wedding invitations, and unfortunately, another wedding that same weekend is a better fit. The wedding you’ve invited me to appears to be a green card marriage, and, while I want only the best for you, I’ve decided that a real marriage between two people who know each other is more qualified. Please don’t hesitate to reach out again in the future if you are getting married again.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny
Dear Mark,
On behalf of myself, I want to thank you for taking the time to invite me to your wedding. I apologize for the delayed response, and I understand that your nuptials may have passed. I received over 6 wedding invitations in the last year, and the decision to not attend any of them was a difficult one. In your case, I am unable to advance your wedding to the next stage of consideration because it’s a destination wedding in Belize, so I assume you don’t even really want people to come.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny
Dear Kristie,
Thank you for your wedding invitation. I’ve decided to move forward with a different activity that Sunday, but I appreciate the time you spent emailing me an invitation and 17 beautiful pictures of you and your fiance on what appear to be 17 different vacations. I did enjoy learning more about your wedding, but I’m trying to add diversity to my social life, and another wedding between yet another of my sorority sisters and an investment banker does not add the perspective I’m looking for.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny
Dear Joe,
Thank you for your interest in having me attend your wedding. Unfortunately, at this moment, I will not be able to move forward with an RSVP ‘yes.’ I understand that you are my brother, and I assure you that I took this into consideration. I ultimately decided that I am not emotionally prepared to have 52 members of our extended family ask me why I didn’t bring a date.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny
Dear Kate,
Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend your wedding this summer, because I don’t want to.
Best of luck in your future endeavors,
Ginny
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Ginny Hogan is an NYC-based stand up comic and writer. She’s written for McSweeney’s, The Hairpin, and the Science Post. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram @ginny2357.