What These 5 Jesus Quotes Would Look Like If We Changed “Shithole” to “Shithouse”

“Who invited us to this shithouse?”

–          Trying to order wine at the Wedding at Cana (John 2:3)


“Oh, you’re not getting out of this shithouse that easily.”

–          To Lazarus as he reopened his eyes (Mark 17:1)


“Well, I think the technical term is shithousing.”

–          Whispered to Mary Magdalene at a party (Luke 12:13)


“I don’t understand what you see in this loser, mom. When I’m eighteen, I’m leaving this shithouse, and you won’t have any historical record of me until I’m forty!”

–          After Joseph grounded him for wearing wool and cotton at the same time (Luke 1:22)


“I don’t recall anyone ever saying I was the son of God.”

–          To Pontius Pilate (Matthew 36:19)