Zoom Shakespeare
Romeo: [Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this? Fie! My audio is still on.
Oberon: My queen, the wood has a bad connection. You are frozen again.
Hamlet: To be, or not to be, that is the question, Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer… Lo! Wherefore tis a man’s weapon on the screen?
Orlando: Did thou intend to turn thyself into a potato?
Caesar: What man is that? Thine camera is off and thine audio spotty.
Fabian: Thine background is the nak’d king, good sir.
Lady Macbeth: I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. Hush, let us type in the chat.
Lord Hastings: Woe, woe for England, not a whit for me! O, next time we shall use House Party.
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Bobbie Armstrong is a former child, current writer and student. Her work has appeared on McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Belladonna Comedy, Little Old Lady, and her parents’ fridge. Follow her existential crisis @bobbien_