THIS WEEK’S

Issue

Get a subscription to Weekly Humorist Today! Get 4 weeks for $2.99!

Listen in on the joke…

Humorist Podcasts

The Cartoon Pad w/ guest Liza Donnelly

On today’s Cartoon Pad, the award-winning New Yorker cartoonist, author, teacher, TED Talk speaker and film producer and director, Liza Donnelly. Her new film project Women Laughing is a featured kickstarter now, check it out and get some great perks! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/womenlaughingfilm/women-laughing

Humorist Books

Featuring humor novels, cartoon collections, children’s book parodies, and more!

Greg Maxwell’s Inferno:The Erotic, Judeo-Christian, Modern-Day Odyssey No One Asked For

by Keith James

Hell has come to claim the last mortal universe. A bleeding tower has burst through the 24-Hour Fitness parking lot. Demons circle the city of San Diego. One name is called to challenge Lucifer’s Champion: Greg Maxwell.

BUY NOW

Lyssa Strata: A Comedy for the Frustrated 

by Martti Nelson

A small-town librarian finds her voice and kicks some misogynist butt in the process. Inspired by the classical Greek comedy, Lysistrata, librarian Lyssa Strata has long begged the Town Council of Athena, Massachusetts to repeal its disgusting, old, misogynist, and racist laws, but the Council, an all-male entity for 400 years, has blown her off as a redheaded spinster—who, according to a 1673 law, should legally be run out of town at the end of a musket upon a poor fiscal year. When Lyssa seeks to invade the male bastion as the first woman ever on the Council, the men in charge treat her candidacy as a hilarious joke; that is, until Lyssa leads the women of the town on a sex strike.

BUY NOW 

The Witch Demands a Retraction: Fairy Tale Reboots for Adults

by Melissa Balmain (Author), Ron Barrett (Illustrator)

Pinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White and so many more in this twisted collection of adult fairy tales!

This hilarious collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from Little Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business.

BUY NOW 

Seven Easy Steps To Go To Hell

by Brandon Hicks

What you see is not always the whole picture, as you’ll learn on your journey to HELL!

Occupying the lowest rung on the demonic corporate ladder, Beezle, Buzzle, and Barb have the unenviable task of ensuring enough souls are going to Hell. Using their patented Seven Deadly Sins™ method, the trio explains how you can get yourself a one-way ticket.

BUY NOW 

The # * % < ! + & Year in Review

by Ron Hauge

From Emmy® Award winner Ron Hauge (The Simpsons, Seinfeld, The Ren & Stimpy Show, In Living Color) comes ‘The # * % < ! + & Year In Review', a retrospective collection of single-panel, full-color cartoons selected from his popular Instagram account. The year 2020 will not soon be forgotten, but perhaps we can gain a little perspective with these biting, often outrageous illustrations lampooning Trump, the pandemic, social unrest, the whole mess. BUY NOW 

The Elements of Stress and the Pursuit of Happy-ish in this Current Sh*tstorm

by Bob Eckstein & Michael Shaw

THE ELEMENTS OF STRESS and the Pursuit of Happy-ish in this Current Sh*tstorm is a humorous handbook to help readers better deal with the challenges and headaches of our times, from overeating, to love problems, money woes, global warming, night sweats, winter itch, general anxiety, and so much more. Plus, over 70 stress-defusing cartoons from two of the best gag cartoonists

BUY NOW 

Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks

by Jessica Delfino

Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks delivers a grown-up spin on the quintessential children’s joke book. Chock-full of silly wordplay and looney leaps in logic, this collection touches on a variety of topics and themes, from the great outdoors, to celebrities, outer space, and recreational cannabis. Perfect for readers who wish to reconnect with their inner-child or anyone who enjoys a good guffaw- or groan-worthy joke.

BUY NOW 

A Gaslight in the Attic

by Matt Lassen

A Gaslight in the Attic is an expert satire of the Donald Trump presidency written from the perspective of the man himself! The book parodies the Shel Silverstein classic “A Light in the Attic” with original poems chronicling Trumpisms, his lies and contradictions and the classic “look this way so you don’t see that” gaslighting at its best! The over 70 hilarious original poems include original Shel Silverstein-esque pen and ink illustrations to enjoy along with it!

BUY NOW 

A Gaslight in the Attic

by Matt Lassen

A Gaslight in the Attic is an expert satire of the Donald Trump presidency written from the perspective of the man himself! The book parodies the Shel Silverstein classic “A Light in the Attic” with original poems chronicling Trumpisms, his lies and contradictions and the classic “look this way so you don’t see that” gaslighting at its best! The over 70 hilarious original poems include original Shel Silverstein-esque pen and ink illustrations to enjoy along with it!

BUY NOW 

From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts

by Michael Bleicher & Andy Newton

From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts dives into the contradictory, divided, and all-too-often unsettling state of the union. Like Huck Finn meets Game Change, the novel examines the politicians and popular figures who played starring roles in 2016 and holds up a mirror to the electorate that ultimately made Trumpism possible.

BUY NOW 

How Amusing

Read what all the fuss is about…

‘Twas the Night of the Election (or “A Visit from St. Kornacki”)

‘Twas the night of the election, and all over cable news, / Not a network was covering anything but red states and blues. / The pundits were booked on the panel shows with care, / As one spoke, ten others all nodded and stared.

How To Support Queer Folk During Election Season With Very Little Effort

Put a tiny rainbow flag in your pencil cup. And more.

Central Park Defends Its Dry Spell

I haven’t really felt in the mood these days. It’s embarrassing, but to be perfectly honest, with the election coming up and everything, I’ve been so stressed out it’s affecting my….performance. I haven’t been able to muster up significant cloud coverage, never mind generate any actual precipitation. It’s been so long I’m pretty sure the next time I encounter a shift in wind speed, what should be a little drizzle is instead going to result in a brief but intense downpour. It’s not you, it’s me and too much built up atmospheric pressure.

How to Tell Whether Someone is a Spooky Costume Person, a Silly Costume Person, or a Sexy Costume Person

If someone knows their high score in The Addams Family pinball game, they are a sexy costume person. (This year: A very suggestive Cousin Itt) If someone has a Snoopy tattoo, they are a silly costume person. (This year: Gumby) And more!

Little-Known Backstories of Misunderstood Halloween Candies

A great treat for kids who are too young to smoke, but still want to look cool. The candy cigarette paved the way for the invention of candy chewing tobacco, and candy nicotine patches. These are hard to find nowadays –  tobacco companies want kids to vape, anyway!

#CrudeCostumes

Buzzed Lightyear, Buffy the Vampire Layer, Puke Skywalker, and more #CrudeCostumes on this week’s trending hashtag game!

What Your Favorite MLB Mascot Says About You

Dandy of the New York Yankees – You should just admit to having hair plugs (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

I Have Been Silenced by The Media and I’m Not Going To Shut Up About It

After forty-four years of speaking my mind, the woke mob has finally come for me. Now that my YouTube channel has been demonetized, I’ve been completely muzzled, left only with my few million podcast subscribers, two New York Times bestsellers, and this Substack newsletter. My crime? Saying what the mainstream media doesn’t want you to hear. 

An Urgent Email from Tony Hinchcliffe’s Travel Agent

Unfortunately, I’ve been unable to book you at another hotel in San Juan or all of Puerto Rico for that matter. Not even a Motel 6. Although you do have an offer from a Waste Management union in Puerto Rico who said they’d be “happy to offer you a smelly mattress in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean” with an offer to take you there by boat.

#ScarySnacks

Drownies, Lice Krispies, Dead Vines, and more #ScarySnacks on this week’s trending joke game!

Uniquely Tasteless Halloween Costumes That’ll Get Your Ass Canceled in 2024

Elon Musk Distributing Free Keys to Recalled Tesla Cybertrucks: I’ve never understood why motorists loathe the Cybertruck. Between its angular shape, brutalist design, and various recalls (faulty accelerator pedal, faulty windshield wiper motors, and faulty trunk bed trim), it’s arguably the ideal vehicle for any given scenario. But if it’s so perfect, why does society continually reject it?

Lesser Known Tidbits About Art The Clown

 Art shows up to murder aimlessly for only several days typically, spending the remainder of his time selling handmade cheese graters on Etsy.

Give the Neighborhood Kids a Good Scare With This Genuine Rotting Corpse

Returns: Unfortunately, due to the perishable nature of the body, returns cannot be accepted.
Washing instructions: Do not wash — washing will degrade the quality of your carcass and ruin your washing machine.

P. Diddy’s Tips for Throwing a Successful Freak Off

There should be plenty of snacks available. Unsliced cucumbers have proven very popular at my events.

I Can’t Afford to Pay Employees a Living Wage and Still Take Home $9,000,000 a Year Making Egg Salad Sandwiches

Teaching the servers to scoop just the right amount, dropping it in just the right spot on the lettuce, which, in turn, is centered in just the right spot on the toast – all this is difficult, which is why people come to Nothing But Egg Salad, the nation’s number one spot for egg salad sandwiches. 

#AbsurdAppetizers

Spamchovies, Stuffed artijokes, Jalapeño Poopers, and more #AbsurdAppetizers on this week's trending joke game!

Diary of a Jealous Landlord

Dear Diary, the cute guy (Mark) that has been texting me about unit 1F seems really interested. He might even stop by tonight! I know it seems quick, but I have a good feeling.

What I Think J.D. Vance's Initials Stand For, Based on His Candidacy So Far

Joyless Dud, Jinxed Decision, Jingoistic Dumbass, and more!

Letting You Know That a Porn Account Is Impersonating You and That I Did NOT Pay It $183 for Feet Pic

Honestly, so not cool of this person to use your images without your consent. Even worse for them to promise me a great deal on 10 pairs of stinky worn socks if I gave them my full legal name, home address, credit card info, and social security number. I mean, who’s so desperately horny to fall for that one?

Recent Posts from the Local Ring Neighborhood App

Thursday 3:33 pm: I keep seeing people post night footage of strangers checking to see if car doors are open.  Why doesn’t anyone try the doors on my ’95 Chevrolet Cavalier?  I’ve even left the keys in it.

Diddy Lyrics That, In Hindsight, Revealed What Combs Was Up To

“Hey, thanks for being a fan! Now please get into the van. Enjoy a blunt I just rolled, And I’ll apply this lil blindfold.”

#FoulFallCoffeeDrinks

Hot toady, Scarbucks, Capoopuccino, and more #FoulFallCoffeeDrinks on this week's trending joke game!

 Get The Weekly Humorist Updates!



CARTOON: Tough Choice

Heating up! Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

CARTOON: I Voted

Let your voice be heard! Today's cartoon by Tyson Cole

'Twas the Night of the Election (or "A Visit from St. Kornacki")

‘Twas the night of the election, and all over cable news, / Not a network was covering anything but red states and blues. / The pundits were booked on the panel shows with care, / As one spoke, ten others all nodded and stared.

CARTOON: Fall of Democracy?

No Rake Electors! Today's cartoon by Jus Kaplan and Jane Demarest.

CARTOON: Mediocre Cop

Well what do you think? Today's cartoon by Sarah Morrissette.

CARTOON: Canvassing Couple

Election Enthusiasts. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Ballot Box Boogeyman

Election Night Frights

How To Support Queer Folk During Election Season With Very Little Effort

Put a tiny rainbow flag in your pencil cup. And more.