What New Yorkers Are Standing In Line For This Summer
Alan Cumming cumming in Club Cumming.
TikTok’s hottest new emergency room.
The new iced hot chocolate at Dominique Ansel Elgort Bakery.
Shit matcha.
Keke Palmer walking out of a restaurant with the bald man from that wings show. We just don’t know what restaurant yet. Stay tuned.
The jazz bar that opened next to the other jazz bar that always has such a long line there was a need for another jazz bar which now also has a line.
A studio apartment in the East Village that just went up for rent as this sentence was being written and is already off the market by the time this sentence is ending, which is… Right now.
Hozier singing “Take Me to Church” in a synagogue.
A Hozier impersonator singing “Take Me to Synagogue” in a church.
The long-awaited brand collab between Jellycat x Rikers Island.
The long-awaited brand collab between Crocs x Lithuania.
Ice Spice x Vanilla Ice x Ice Cube x Ice-T for the launch of Poppi’s new prebiotic progenetic iced coffee that’s going to be warm by the time you get the front of this damn line.
The library.
Absolut Vodka x AA.
Shrek x The Concept of Time.
A new gallery opening in Chelsea called Smell This: A Journey Into the World of Pheromone-maxxing. But after the fact, art critics will agree that the dominating scent of the evening was wet frogs. And that was just the artist.
Pop up Bagels popping up.
A woman who sort of looks like Nancy Pelosi, but only if you don’t know what Nancy Pelosi looks like.
Radio Static Bakery.
Lizzo’s new line of webbed-feet inclusive activewear.
Labcorps.
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Bobbie Armstrong is a former child, current writer and student. Her work has appeared on McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Belladonna Comedy, Little Old Lady, and her parents’ fridge. Follow her existential crisis @bobbien_
