A Gaslight In The Attic: Im-Peach-Mint

Ice Cream

 

There is nothing better than ice cream

I love every single flavor

In my eyes are a glint,

But when Pelosi serves it I scream

Because it’s not something I’ll savor

It’s Im-Peach-Mint.

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25^th Amendment

They go after my harmful rhetoric

They go after my beautiful spouse,

They say I’m not fit for the office

They want to throw me out of the White House!

I seek revenge on my enemies

They say my comebacks are needless,

But I’m just doing what a normal person would

Remember, I am a stable genius!

I talk to the press when I can

I am a lyrical wordsmith,

After a small talk with the press

They want to invoke the twenty-fifth!

They want me out of office

They say my speech is too coarse,

I say whatever comes to mind

I don’t need an actual source!

They’ll never invoke the 25^th amendment,

No matter what horrible things I say,

Because I have the country hostage

While the Republicans just look the other way!

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The Chosen One

I have looked to the skies

And questioned if I should run.

Of course I should!

I am the chosen one!

I ran before and it was great.

It went off without a hitch.

It helped that I bankrolled it all

Since I’m stinkin’ rich!

Well, rich in the sense

That it was taken from my dad,

And I used it to become president

With help from a Russian comrade!

I did it all on my own

I surrounded myself with the best,

I’m the King of Israel

The Messiah of the West!

The press will mock me

For that I’ll sue them for libel,

Just because I proclaimed I’m the chosen one

I’m pretty sure it’s written in the Bible.

I’m a very holy man

But a favorite bible verse I can’t quote,

As long as the evangelicals forget about that

When it’s their turn to vote!