A Gaslight in the Attic: Toilet Tweeting

Toilet Tweeting

I sit and I sit

But nothing comes out

I push and I push

But still no brown out.


I take to my phone

And open up Twitter

I tweet at my enemies

Trying not to sound bitter.


It doesn’t matter that

It’s three in the morning,

I’ll tweet up a storm,

I’ll send out a warning!


Call out the lawmakers,

Snowflakes and any enemy,

Don’t care if it’s true,

It’ll be my serenity.


If I tweet it enough,

A few I’ll dupe,

Or at least I’ll forget

That I still can’t poop.


Radicalized Muslims are terrorists

They hate us just for spite,

But remember they aren’t really terrorists

If they were radicalized and white.


Build That Wall

Build that wall

Build that wall

Build it long,

Build it tall!


Don’t delay

Don’t stall

Because Mexico

Will pay for it all!


It’ll be easy and simple

To sure up the border,

When Mexico doesn’t pay

I’ll use an executive order!


That’s sure to work

To stop the insurgency,

But Congress won’t pay,

So I’ll call for an emergency!


Where we get the money

It’s all arbitrary,

Mexico, Congress

Or from the military.


They don’t need it

For shelter or protection,

The wall is needed,

Every single section!


Build that wall

Build that wall

Because if I don’t,

It’s my own downfall.