95,000 LinkedIn updates, That article you’re going to read someday soon, Response to the email about setting up a playdate with a kid you don’t know, and more!
About Janine Annett
Janine Annett lives in New York, in a house full of piles of books, with her husband, son, and very old cat. Her humor writing has appeared on McSweeney's Internet Tendency, the Establishment, and other websites. Janine also writes picture books. Her website is www.janineannett.com.
Entries by Janine Annett
Q: How’s it going? A: The standard answer “as well as can be excepted” applies, although this may fluctuate slightly on a day-to-day basis. Things that can influence how well things are going on any given day include exercising, sex (or lack thereof), looking at real estate listings, level of news consumption, and which of our national institutions are falling apart.
Me have legitimate problems. Me working on them. C is for Cookie, but also for Compulsive Eating. Me need to find new therapist that takes insurance.
ANCHOR 2: Our thoughts are with the victims and their families. ANCHOR 1: Thoughts. Prayers. ANCHOR 2: Yes, of course, thoughts and prayers. ANCHOR 1: And now: How to look like a celebrity, on a budget!
Adviser 1: President Trump, there is a big, red button on your desk labeled “DO NOT PUSH”, but — Trump: I know. I see it. It’s a big, big red button. The best. I have the biggest, reddest button in the entire world. Adviser 1: Yes, you do. But I have to advise you NOT […]
Jack Sprat could eat no fat. He had high cholesterol, and his blood pressure also wasn’t doing him any favors. He was trying not to eat too much bacon. He was trying to eat more salads. He ate quinoa last week. Jack’s wife, Helen Sprat, could eat no lean. She was on a low […]