Calm down, I’m not saying game shows gotta be your bag. My point is you’ve got the pick of the litter right now. Even Rogan’s people want a piece of the action. You just need to trust me, baby. You’ve got the look and I’ve got the connections.
Alien Invasion or Elaborate Hoax? Zane & Maya Discuss While Cooking Chicken Alfredo
Sweetheart, Went to a Target tonight. I was horrified to learn the nutcrackers have turned gay. Why must these Secularists sexualize everything? Put your nuts in its mouth like the rest of us and enjoy the birth of our Lord.
Merry Christmas, Jim
I couldn’t believe how fast the trip went = It was the longest two weeks of my life.
Men used to settle arguments with a duel to the death. They would pull out their pistols and see who could kill the other one first. Nowadays, the way men deal with conflict is by talking to each other. Have you seen this? They actually talk and listen and debate with one another. It’s obscene — go get a room!
There’s Guinness everywhere / What’s this? / There’s corned beef in the air. / What’s this? / I can’t believe my eyes, I must be dreaming / Wake up, Jack, this isn’t fair / What’s this?
Our financial success during such times do not make these moments any less painful. We’d also like to underscore our significant contributions to charitable organizations and similar tax-deductible philanthropy. To be clear — Murder Manifesto LLC stands united against violence and hatred. We will continue to reflect and pray to prevent such tragic events from occurring again.
Are your eyes broken? Did you not see the glaringly small sign pointing at the correct door? Surely you must be recovering from some sort of invasive eye surgery to miss a sign that obvious. I’m laughing at you, you fool.
Mr. Chairman, to your knowledge, have historians uncovered Mambo No. 1 through 4 yet? Mr. Chairman, do you agree with your colleagues that say Forrest Gump is “mid”? Mr. Chairman, do you happen to know the status of smell-o-vision? And more!
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon: “You guys hear about this? A man named Jesus was killed today for claiming to be the son of God. Yeah. Awful. When asked for comment, God pointed and said, ‘Look, a dinosaur!’ And ran away.”
Before you publicly announce your intention to purchase this long standing social media site please be sure of the following: Log onto Twitter and ask yourself, “Do I want this?” I mean it. Open Twitter and actually say out loud, “Do I want to be the owner of this nightmare?”