Best of 2023

Despite Recent Events We Will Continue To Sell Our Ghostface Voice Modulator ™

We want to express our deepest condolences to the victims and families of the recent atrocities. These senseless acts have left us all profoundly shaken. When we were notified that our Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ had been unfortunately misused again we immediately began cooperating with law enforcement. However, while we recognize the gravity of this situation, we want to make it clear that the Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ should not be held responsible for the heinous acts committed by vile individuals.
The Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ is an inanimate object. It cannot make decisions or have rational thought. The Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ does not stalk and then stab people. People stalk and then stab. When used responsibly, the Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ can provide hours of amusement to those who engage in safe Halloween time hijinks. Our product is no more responsible than that of a spherical ice cube in an alcoholic’s whiskey glass or a rusty nail in an accidental tetanus contraction.
The bloody knife-wielding Ghostface mascot featured on the packaging is purely coincidental. If we were to change the name of our product now, it would be an admission of guilt and we cannot do so in good conscience. Also, the Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ slogan “Kill Like A Killer” is taken out of context. “Kill” is a hyperbolic rhetorical device used to describe the gut-busting laughter one can expect when using the Ghostface Voice Modulator.™
We want to emphasize that we have always condemned violence and we always will.
Just as we did in 1996.
And again in 1997.
And again in 2000.
And again in 2011.
And again in 2022.
And again, now, in 2023.
Our financial success during such times do not make these moments any less painful. We’d also like to underscore our significant contributions to charitable organizations and similar tax-deductible philanthropy.  To be clear — Murder Manifesto LLC stands united against violence and hatred. We will continue to reflect and pray to prevent such tragic events from occurring again.
Thank you for your understanding, your support, and your commitment to a future where the Ghostface Voice Modulator ™ becomes a force for good rather than an instrument of evil.