There’s Guinness everywhere / What’s this? / There’s corned beef in the air. / What’s this? / I can’t believe my eyes, I must be dreaming / Wake up, Jack, this isn’t fair / What’s this?
Our financial success during such times do not make these moments any less painful. We’d also like to underscore our significant contributions to charitable organizations and similar tax-deductible philanthropy. To be clear — Murder Manifesto LLC stands united against violence and hatred. We will continue to reflect and pray to prevent such tragic events from occurring again.
Are your eyes broken? Did you not see the glaringly small sign pointing at the correct door? Surely you must be recovering from some sort of invasive eye surgery to miss a sign that obvious. I’m laughing at you, you fool.
Mr. Chairman, to your knowledge, have historians uncovered Mambo No. 1 through 4 yet? Mr. Chairman, do you agree with your colleagues that say Forrest Gump is “mid”? Mr. Chairman, do you happen to know the status of smell-o-vision? And more!
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon: “You guys hear about this? A man named Jesus was killed today for claiming to be the son of God. Yeah. Awful. When asked for comment, God pointed and said, ‘Look, a dinosaur!’ And ran away.”
Before you publicly announce your intention to purchase this long standing social media site please be sure of the following: Log onto Twitter and ask yourself, “Do I want this?” I mean it. Open Twitter and actually say out loud, “Do I want to be the owner of this nightmare?”
